Dysfunctional Family
by Addster
Summary: "My husband and son make me want to drink." Tsunade grumbles as she pulls her largest bottle of sake from her drawer. Naruto's explanation of his family. Somewhat following the story line of Shippuden.
1. Retarded Napkin Boy

**AN: Got this from another drabble. I thought this one was so cute, I had to expand it. So now, we have this!**

**Disclaimer: you're crazy to think an eighth grader owns Naruto**

Unsuspecting as she was, she wasn't all that surprised when her little blonde gennin busted through her door and made a bee-line for her.

"Wha-!" Tsunade started to protest, being stopped by one of his hands clamped to her mouth.

"Please hide me!" He pleaded, his eyes watering and lip turned up in a pout. Tsunade gave a slight nod of her head and the boy huddled behind her chair as promised. Be fore she had the chance to turn and ask what he was hiding from, the large hulking-bulk of an oh-so familiar pervert barreled into her office, breathing heavily with his hands anchored on his knees. He looked up at her, his onyx eyes boring into her honey-brown.

"Have…did Naruto come through here?" He managed to get out between pants. Tsunade was about to tell Jiraiya no, but with her curiosity peaked and the large stack of paperwork looming before her, procrastination sounded like a good idea.

"Why are you looking for him?" Tsunade asked innocently, even batting an eyelash or two to get the desired effect on the man before her.

"Because told me a lame joke…" Jiraiya answered honestly. Tsunade felt her blood pressure rise at the infantile reason, and slowly began to reach back for the boy behind her chair and give him away, but her eyes fell upon her paperwork.

"What was the joke?" Said the Procrastinator. Jiraiya froze at the question, his eyes diverting to areas other than her.

"It's really stupid…nothing worthy of the Hokage and all her grace." Jiraiya sped through his words in one breath. Knowing he was lying, Tsunade sent Jiraiya the look, the '_do you want to be castrated with a dull knife?' _kind of look.

Knowing the look all too well, Jiraiya gave a microscopic shake of his head and then sighed in defeat.

"Well Naruto said…that if we were a family, me being the father and you the mother…" Jiraiya started out a bit shaky.

"That it would be super dysfunctional and we would end up killing each other." He finished quickly and closed his eyes in the practiced manner he picked up from years of having to receive cruel and unusual punishment from the woman sitting calmly at her desk. Tsunade sat quietly in shock for a bit, remembering the day before when she had done something she never thought she would do.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_Naruto had sprung into her office (unannounced of course) and had invited her to dinner with him. At first she sat with a manicured brow arched in confusion, then realized the boy's version of dinner meant a few (being generous here) bowls of that Ichiraku ramen he was always raving about._

_The boy was still strained in some ungodly pose, waiting for her answer when she finally giggled a yes and left her office with him jumping out of his shoes, ready for ramen._

_After three bowls for her and five for him, the two sat at the bar in utter exhaustion from their meal. Tsunade was getting ready to pay, Naruto pulling out his own frog wallet to pay for his share when the old man came up to the counter._

"_No, no, no. These are on the house." He said with a hand raised, signaling for no arguing._

"_Sweet! Thanks old man." Naruto chirped._

"_Well the only reason they're free is because of your date here." Teuchi laughed with his head cocked towards Tsunade._

"_Oh, please!" Tsunade laughed at the old man and his joke, Naruto grumbling a bit in the corner._

_With thanks being yelled back, the two started walking away to their respective homes, the trail coming to a fork and the two having to go separate ways._

"_Thank you for the meal, Naruto. I haven't eaten like that in years!" Tsunade giggled when she remembered herself slurping down those enormous three bowls._

"_No problem, baa-chan! It was better because it was free." Naruto gave her a devious wink and a pat on his pocket where his wallet lay, still plump and prosperous. She was about to leave when she saw something on his face, a dried drop of broth on his cheek._

"_Don't you know how to use a napkin?" Tsunade lightly scolded and Naruto gave her a befuddled look._

"_What?" He asked, a bit scared._

"_C'mere." Tsunade ushered him with her hand and Naruto took a few steps forward until he was nearly ten inches away from her. Tsunade licked her thumb inconspicuously enough and leaned down to meet his level (he was still so short). Taking his chin in her hand, she rubbed away the blemish with her wet thumb. Almost not realizing what she was doing, Naruto jumped back at the touch._

"_Eww, gross! That's your spit, don't do that!" He shrieked as he slapped a hand to his offending cheek._

"_Well at least you don't look stupid!" Tsunade growled, annoyed that he reacted like that after she did him a favor, ungrateful brat._

"_Great, thanks! But now I look like a baby!" He called back, a small blush forming on his face from the foreign maternal gesture._

"_Better that than stupid!" She lashed back with her sharp tongue, eyes gleaming with the sparkle of victory. Naruto knew he was caught and felt his blush deepen, quickly turning away to go home._

"_Thank you…" He grumbled back as he headed home, the tiniest of smiles tugging on his lips as he held his cheek._

"_You're welcome, brat!" Tsunade called back, turning to go home and shaking her head._

_OoOoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo_

"I didn't mean it like that!" Tsunade defended out of the blue.

"What?" Jiraiya, confused as to what she meant. Tsunade reached back and grabbed the boy by the back of his fluorescent orange jacket and lifted him to her level. Naruto also wore a dumbfounded look; his sparkling cerulean orbs fixed themselves on her brown in an attempt to decipher just what she meant.

"You just had something on your face!" Tsunade said and Naruto gasped in realization, brow furrowing in defense.

"Well that's what it felt like, woman! That's what I see mothers doing to their kids!" Naruto defended. Tsunade nearly dropped him after his last few words.

"You really think of me that way?" Tsunade asked softly, a tear brimming in her eye.

"Well yeah, sure!" He said nonchalantly while he put his hands behind his head.

"You're always yelling at me like Shikamaru's mom and you always make sure I'm eating right like Chouji's mom, although I'm not eating as much as Chouji's mom lets him, but still. And…" The rest of his reasons seemed to dissipate before they reached her ears, she could only hear the thrumming of her heart as she stared at the boy she held by the collar. This was new, something she wasn't exactly expecting to hear when he first busted into her office.

Tsunade gently put him back on the floor when he finished and looked to Jiraiya. He was smiling at the boy's revelations.

"That was really sweet, Naruto." Jiraiya said when Naruto was secure on the ground. Jiraiya looked back to Tsunade, noting the lost look on her face and the smile she was trying to hide. But then her expression suddenly turned violent and she regained her vice grip on Naruto's collar, bringing him to her face until their noses nearly touched.

"Dysfunctional?" She growled and a few of her knuckles cracked for emphasis.

"Yeah because you and Pervy Sage are always fighting and yelling at each other. And you're always threatening to castrate him! What does that even mean?" Naruto shot back.

"And where do you fit into all of this?" Tsunade growled at Naruto, inwardly slapping herself for getting into an argument over pretend things. Naruto looked hurt, but then quickly fixed himself to where it was like she had never said anything.

"Well I kinda' look like you…" Naruto muttered with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Do not." Tsunade grumbled and Naruto shot up in surprise.

"Yeah-huh!" He said and gently grabbed a lock of her hair and compared it to his as he leaned his head in to meet his little spikes with her locks. Tsunade looked at them for a second, nearly letting loose the grumble she was holding in. Same color, nearly the same shade.

But that didn't prove anything.

"That's just a genetic trait that can pop up in a family full of brunets." She retorted matter-of-factly and pulled her hair out of his hand and set him back on the floor.

"You're just making stuff up so you can go around saying you look like a gorgeous woman such as myself." Tsunade snarked as Naruto gave a huff.

"Whatever, baa-chan. At least I'm not married to a pervert." Naruto shot back before he ran out of her office, narrowly avoiding a fairly large book to his head. Jiraiya had ducked behind a chair, in fear of Tsunade's wrath as he watched the woman seethe.

She turned to the only remaining occupant, casting a deathly glare at him.

"Get. Out." Tsunade rumbled and Jiraiya quickly stood and headed for the door.

"No problem, honey-buns!" He shot back with a grin and narrowly dodged Tsunade's chair as it was hurled his way.

With her chair in pieces and her temper hot, Tsunade opened her bottom drawer and pulled out the bottle of sake her palate was craving.

"My husband and son make me want to drink." She muttered and popped off the cork.

**They would make me want to drink, too. I love pairings like this one because the anime already kind of displays the three like this, dysfunctional and crazy, but enough love to balance it all out. YOSH! Very youthful...makes me want to cry *holds in sob*. Thanks for reading and please review, I wrote two other stories inspired by Soraya the All Speaker's drabbles and like nobody reviewed (except Soraya herself). One is called Lions, it's about the day Sarutobi found Orochimaru cutting people in pieces down in his evil lair and Tsunade beats him up. The other one is called Business & Money where Kakuzu and Tsunade meet in her grandfather's home and again twenty years later. So check them out if you like Tales of the Leaves, I think my expansions are pretty beast.**

**PEACE :P**


	2. Homecoming

**AN: I got a review that opted for more chapters, so I give you chapter two! I'm planning on elaborating on some key events in the manga, and using that stuff as chapters. If you guys review enough, I can do that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

She sat at her window, staring out at her village with a cup of '_tea'_ in her hands, casually sipping as she stared. The busty blonde was waiting for her misfit boys to come home, her dysfunctional family.

Her honey-brown eyes scanned the streets lined with people bustling here and there, she quickly glanced over towards the Academy, smiling when she saw the little kids playing out front. Taking another sip, she sighed and took her seat, patience wearing thin. His letter had said they'd be back today by noon.

It was already three.

The frustrated blonde melted back into her chair and played with one of her bangs, twirling the soft silk-like locks between her nimble fingers. She did this for some time, mockingly glancing at her large stacks of paperwork and the pen lying next to them.

"Lady Tsunade?" A womans voice permeated through the heavy door with a few knocks.

"Come in, Shizune." Tsunade called and the brunette popped her head in, her deep black eyes brimming with something that looked like excitement. Tsunade took immediate notice at her assistant's glee.

"They're here, milady." Shizune announced rather bubbly as she opened the door wider for Tsunade to dash out, her '_tea'_ left forgotten on her desk.

"Finally…" Tsunade breathed to herself, agitation evident, but a smile playing at her lips.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Ah, man! I'm so hungry Pervy Sage!" The blonde teen whined as he neared the gates of his birth village, a hand over his grumbling stomach. The tall white haired man walking next to him only smiled at the boy's whining.

"Once we get in, you can eat all the ramen you can manage." His deep voice bellowed as the teen started a violent dash towards his village, newfound ambition in his legs as they pumped him closer and closer towards his beloved ramen.

"Deal, Pervy Sage! You're buying!" He shouted with his head turned back towards his master, unaware of the coming obstacle standing in his way.

"Naruto!" A loud, feminine voice called out and he whipped his head forward at the sound of his name, then smacking his face into something soft.

His face fell into something rivaling the softness of a cloud. Naruto buried his head deeper into the cushion-like thing before him and drank the scent that came with it: powdery flowers and pungent fruit.

Standing next to Tsunade, Shizune was bright red as she watched Naruto basically motorboat Tsunade. The sannin herself was staring down at the teenager with a glare of annoyance crossing over into mirth. It would be another few seconds before the pervert made his way over, nearly toppling himself over when he started bleeding from his nose at the sight of his student burying himself in the sacred mounds that were Tsunade's breasts.

"Hey kiddo, what're you doin'?" Tsunade whispered with a hint of annoyance as Naruto suddenly stopped, cerulean eyes gone wide and a violent blush burning across his face.

Recognizing the voice immediately, he jumped nearly ten feet back and tensed into a defensive stance.

"Hey baa-chan! What's shakin'?" Naruto smiled nervously as he watched the older woman carefully, still constrained in some ungodly position, waiting for her immanent retaliation.

Instead of violently beating her boy to a pulp, Tsunade took a deep breath and fixed her shirt, a small smile on her face as she did.

"Nothing much, Naruto." She chuckled as she looked him over. God, he had gotten big. His spikes had gotten longer; some of the baby fat she adored so much had vanished and left sharp, handsome features in their wake. His frame was leaner and more muscular, but still covered in that blasphemous orange.

"Welcome home." She called out to him softly and pulled him into a hug. Naruto was a bit shocked; he was checking himself over, making sure she hadn't numbed him to where he couldn't feel it when she chopped off his arm or something. But when he felt her soft hands cup the back of his head, he knew she meant no harm.

"Thanks baa-chan…" He breathed into her shoulder with a smile. Tsunade held the hug for a few more seconds and then pulled away from him, her hands on his shoulders.

"Jeeze, you got taller. Now I'm gonna have to jump to smack the back of your head." Tsunade laughed with Naruto as Jiraiya came closer.

"Do I get a hug?" He asked Tsunade lecherously, his best creepy smile plastered to his face. Tsunade's smile sharply turned to a frown as she directed her laser beam-like glare at her old teammate. Jiraiya's grin disappeared and his shoulders slumped in defeat. He nearly jumped when he felt her arm wrap around his waist.

"I missed you too, you big teddy bear." Tsunade sighed in defeat as she side-hugged Jiraiya.

"Aw, thanks Tsunade. The feeling's mutual." The old sage went to wrap his hand around Tsunade's waist when she elbowed him.

"There will be no further contact." She growled as she slinked away from his large frame and back over to Naruto and Shizune, Naruto wearing a devious smile on his face.

"Gosh, you guys know spouses shouldn't fight…" He sniggered evilly as his lips turned up into a kissy face.

"Oh gosh, Naruto. If someone hit you hard enough, that face could stick." Tsunade minutely warned with a platinum smile plastered to her face. Before the boy could give a what, Tsunade walked up to him and slapped the back of his head.

Hard.

"OWW!" Naruto howled as he grabbed the back of his head.

"Oh, would you look at that. Guess I don't have to jump after all."

**So, how was that? See what I mean about key parts in the manga? The next one might be about the sand incident and Gaara and Chiyo and all that good stuff. PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE! I don't want to waste cyber space with stuff no one's going to read.**

**Whatever, hope you guys liked!**

**PEACE :P**


	3. Baby goes off to Fight

**AN: What did I tell you? I told you I was going to be awesome and write you guys awesome chappies! So here's another one, read it and leap (weaping is no good)!**

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything as cool as naruto**

"C'mon baa-chan, that mission's gay!" Naruto whined as he stood next to his teammate and sensei, Sakura's face burning a bright red.

"Young man, you do realize _who_ you're whining to?" Tsunade breathed, her air annoyed as it came out. She sat at her semi-circle of desks, other old people assembled in the room to help give out missions.

"Yeah, but c'moooooon!"

"Stop whining! You remind me of a baby!" Tsunade growled and watched as Naruto flashed his puppy dog eyes. Ignoring him completely, Tsunade began to hand the mission paper over to Kakashi when the doors burst open. It was Shizune.

"Jesus Christ, what is it now?" Tsunade yelled as her assistant came hurrying up to her.

"We've just received word from Suna, the Kazekage has been kidnapped by the Akatsuki." Shizune announced through pants. Tsunade watched as Naruto's eyes widened as he turned to her, cerulean boring into honey.

Knowing the history, Tsunade couldn't help but cave in under that stare. But apprehension held her fast.

"Akatsuki, how many?" Tsunade looked to Shizune with an expecting gaze.

"Two, it seems from Lord Jiraiya's reports that they always come in a pair." Tsunade lowered her eyes and stared at the mission in her hand. Although she'd rather run around the village naked before admitting it, the thought of Naruto out there, fighting against notorious criminals scared her to no end. Tsunade looked to Naruto.

"Fine, dammit…" She took back the paper and addressed the squad.

"Team Kakashi, I herby amend your mission. You are to head for Sand immediately and provide whatever assistance needed." Tsunade ordered, her unease evident in her body language.

"Gotcha baa-chan!" Naruto hollered back as he ran to the door, quickly followed by Sakura and Kakashi.

Tsunade's eyes followed the little red swirl on his jacket until he was out of sight, and then she released her long-held breath.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Alrighty, we're heading out!" Naruto announced as he pulled on his pack, ignorant to the fact Kakashi was still the leader of their squad, thus making him the announcer of their departure.

"I'll keep him whole and hearty for you, Lady Tsunade." Sakura chirped as she gave her master a salute.

"Thank you Sakura. That means a lot." Tsunade weakly smiled.

"I don't need Sakura to babysit me! I can take care of myself!" Naruto interjected, incensed.

"Well at least Sakura doesn't blow her top on every little thing and then gets herself into sticky situations like you do!" Tsunade scolded as her and Naruto stood inches from each other's face.

"That's the pot calling the kettle black." A boisterous voice filled with mirth echoed in the space before the village gate. Both blondes wore a look of surprise as they simultaneously turned to the source of the voice.

Jiraiya had (literally) dropped in and was wearing an amused smile as he stared at the two.

"Yeah! You pot!" Naruto retorted with his pointer finger shoved in Tsunade's face, hovering right before her nose. She glared at him and could feel the vein in her temple throb. She grabbed his finger with a few of hers and held it in her hand.

"I have perfectly good reasons for being the way that I am, one of them is staring me in the face." Tsunade growled as she squeezed Naruto's fingers.

"OWW! Quit it, baa-chan! That hurts!" Naruto squealed and freed his fingers from her iron grip.

"Oh, gosh. Looks like you're injured. I guess I can't send you on that mission-"

"No way, baa-chan! I'm gonna go rescue Gaara if it's the last thing I do!" Naruto huffed defiantly as he watched Tsunade. The tips of her cheeks were a light shade of pink and her eyes were focused on him. Knowing she was defeated, she sighed heavily and closed her eyes.

"Just be careful…that temper will be the death of you…" She added softly and patted his cheek. Naruto smiled and turned to the gate, his hands pulling on the straps of his headband as he tightened it.

"Naruto." It was Jiraiya this time.

"Yeah?" He waited as Jiraiya searched for the right words, the older man's dark onyx eyes watching the blonde.

"Listen to Tsunade…be careful." He said with a smile as he stood next to Tsunade, the woman now lightly chewing on her thumbnail.

"I will, I will! Sakura's babysitting me, remember?" Naruto teased as he darted off with his team, leaving his doting surrogate parents to worry.

"I should have broken an arm or something, I don't want him out there." Tsunade muttered to Jiraiya, her eyes still trained on Naruto's frame as it got smaller and smaller as he got farther and farther away from her. Jiraiya looked down at her with thoughtful eyes.

"Oh, poor momma bear. Don't worry, your cub will be fine." Jiraiya laughed, then coughed when Tsunade smacked him in the gut.

"You can just burn in hell, you shriveled up old perv." Tsunade muttered darkly as she walked away.

"I need a drink…" She growled.

"I can get you one." Jiraiya appeared by her side wearing a lecherous grin and waving a few bills in front of her. She gave him a quick glance, then the money, and then back to him.

"Fine, dammit." She grunted as she walked with him to the nearest restaurant, hiding her tiny smile from him the entire trip.

**Ah, dammit. It's over, but there will be more. In the meantime, go have a drink with your favorite pervert. Or not, now that I think about it...**

**PEACE :P**


	4. Blonde Oasis

**AN: Howdy! I just thought of this while I was swimming in my pool, the water was FREEZING because my dad is too cheap to get a pool heater! Well, not that we really need one, I mean it is Florida. But sometimes it would come in handy! Hmph, whatever, hypothermia is just a little thing, I'll only lose a toe or two.**

**Disclaimer:I'm tired, don't feel like saying dumb things...**

She sat at her desk while her pen furiously scribbled away at the last piece of paperwork on her desk. With exultant haste, she signed her name on the very last dotted line and flung the pen from her fingers where it flipped a few times and landed near the edge of her desk.

"Ha!" Tsunade laughed triumphantly as she handed the paper to Shizune, who wore a timid smile as her master shook the paper in front of her face.

"I finished all my paperwork!" Tsunade sang happily as Shizune took the last piece of paper from her hand and placed it in the folder in her arms.

"Yes you did, Lady Tsunade and-!" Before poor Shizune could finish, Tsunade had risen from her chair and had her hands on the desk.

"And that means I have the rest of the day off! So my dear Shizune, peace!" Tsunade chirped as she disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Shizune to sigh in defeat as she went to file the last document.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Oh, this is gonna be good, Naruto." Tsunade chuckled as she took off her green coat and stripped down to her new bathing suit, an itsy-bitsy-teeny-winey-yellow-polka-dot-bikini. Naruto was standing guard in his new light green board shorts, eyes trained on his surroundings.

"You bet baa-chan, this was a great idea, nobody can bug us if they don't know where we are. And Pervy Sage would never think of looking there." Naruto sniggered lightly as he turned back to see if she was ready yet.

"Ok…" Tsunade said as she slipped back into her coat, all commando-like.

"Lets move!" With that said, the two blondes made a dash for the nearby rocks and into the rainforest. When Tsunade was deep enough into the forest, Naruto was losing track of her because her green coat blended in with the foliage so much, she seemed to phase in and out of the dimension. The two went farther and farther into the rainforest, the air a bit humid and thick.

"C'mon kiddo, it's just ahead." Tsunade announced cheerfully as she leaped from a rock and into a nearby tree.

"Wow, I didn't think you were still so agile, baa-chan."

"Was that an old joke?" Tsunade turned around and hissed.

"No, it's just y'know, you sit at your desk all day and you don't get much exercise…" Tsunade was glaring at Naruto now, and as dense as the boy was, he knew to stop while he was ahead.

"Never mind." He landed on the same rock and sprung up to meet her in the tree, unknown to him there was slime coating the branch. Before Tsunade could warn him, Naruto landed on the branch but started to fall forward, watching the big boulder get closer and closer as he closed his eyes. But before he got anywhere near the rock, Tsunade's hands caught him under his arms and held him before he fell face first. Naruto opened his eyes and looked up to Tsunade, who was hanging upside down from the offending tree branch.

"Old and out of shape my butt." Tsunade smirked as she gently let Naruto land on the ground.

"Thanks baa-chan…" Naruto mumbled as his feet made touchdown with the ground. Moments later, Tsunade gracefully landed next to him, her hair flying around her face a bit as her head turned to her left.

"We're here." She said excitedly as she took hold of Naruto's arm and gently pulled him along. And like a curious little boy, Naruto followed her with eager haste.

Passing through a patch of bushes, negotiating an obstacle or two, and the two finally found their sanctuary.

"Whoa…" Naruto awed at the sight before him. Tucked away in a patch of boulders and mangrove trees, a fresh water spring sat, looking tranquil and welcoming.

"My grandpa would take me here almost every week of the summer and we'd relax and fish and go exploring. When I was older, he brought me here to learn how to walk on water. I love this place, and I've never brought anyone here…" Tsunade looked back to Naruto with a soft, welcoming smile.

"It's a secret, so you can't tell anyone. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am!" Naruto nodded and started making his way down the stone steps. He quickly looked towards Tsunade with a smile. In all the years, out of all the people she's known, he's been the only one she's invited to her secret spring. If that doesn't make you feel special, nothing else will.

"What're you doing?" Naruto was pulled from his thoughts when he saw Tsunade throw her coat on a branch and climb on a rock.

"Cannonball, what else?" She jumped and curled herself into a ball, splashing into the water and sending waves everywhere, including over by Naruto.

He stood there, drenched, as he waited for her to surface. When she did, he put on his best grumpy face and watched her laugh.

"Oh c'mon, grumpy. You're gonna get wet anyway." Tsunade laughed as she pulled the hair ties from her long blonde tresses.

"Fine." Naruto huffed as he ran and jumped, landing inches from Tsunade and splashing water in her face. When he surfaced, he noticed her cheeks were full.

"What-!" Tsunade squirted water into his face as he just stayed still, taking it.

"Punk…" She chuckled and went under, her legs kicking and sending her deeper. Naruto, curious, took a deep breath and went in after her. Tsunade swam until she reached an underwater cliff; it was tiny and looked a bit like a cave. She reached a hand under the stony outstretched part of it, and pulled out a pre-pumped water tube. It shot to the surface, taking Naruto with it. Tsunade reached under again and let another one rise to the surface.

"Cool." Naruto laughed as he wiggled onto the doughnut. Then bubbles started surfacing and suddenly, another doughnut popped up. This one was a light red with white stripes painting the sides.

Tsunade broke the surface of the water and took a deep breath, then climbed into her red doughnut. The two blondes sat, gliding on the water, Naruto playing bumper-doughnuts and Tsunade squirting water in his face. Then, Naruto had tried ramming Tsunade's doughnut into one of the boulders surrounding the spring, but her foot blocked him in time and made him slide off of his doughnut and toppling into the water.

"Ahaha, you fell in…" Tsunade teased tiredly as Naruto popped to the surface and grabbed hold of his floatee. When Tsunade didn't hear the squeaking that comes with trying to get back up on a rubber floatee, she turned to see Naruto resting on his tube right next to her hand.

"Thanks for bringing me." Naruto smiled as he lightly bumped into her raft again. Tsunade smiled as she lolled her head in his direction, placing her hand on his head and lightly tousling his hair. His spikes were so soft, reminding her of her own blonde locks.

"No problem, kiddo. I'd rather have you than Jiraiya any day." Tsunade laughed and leaned over to kiss the top of Naruto's head.

"Yeah I have to agree. My nose doesn't bleed when I look at you half naked." Naruto added smartly and Tsunade laughed.

"Exactly…"

**I concur, having a pervy old man hanging out with me while I wore a bikini (I have a rockin' body! fyi...) wouldn't be the greatest thing in the world. But, how'd you guys like it? I liked it, sounds like a normal Konoha summer with a Senju, and a smexy fox man!**

**REVIEW AND YOU CAN GO SWIMMING WITH ME! WOOT WOOT, AUTHOR HAS A SLAMMIN BODY, IT LOOKS GREAT IN A BIKINI! ;) PEDOPHILES ARE DISCOURAGED.**

**PEACE :P**


	5. Cockroaches and Ramen

**AN: HEY, HEY, HEY! Sorry for the wait, I've been busy with my other stories and getting them updated...I bow to you patient readers.**

**Disclaimer: nothing**

"Lady Tsunade, I think this could be a trap." Shizune added nervously, dark eyes darting from the blonde to the pinkette next to her.

"If it's a trap, then we fight!" Sakura said adamantly, eyes intensely trained on her master. Tsunade sat on the railing of the Hokage mansion, quite as her hair swayed in the wind around her. She finally took a deep breath and answered both pupils.

"That would be fine, but you forget Kakashi will be out of commission for over a week now…and you only have six more days left." She paused, looking in Sakura's eyes.

"The only sensible idea would be to form a new team…"

"Lady Tsunade…" Shizune interjected worriedly, Tsunade looking up and meeting her eyes.

"In that case, why not just send another cell? You could send Sakura along with them and…I feel Naruto should be removed from this mission." Tsunade was quiet as she absorbed her assistant's words, eyes downcast. Sakura watched her master, the apprehension rolling off her in waves.

"I'm in complete agreement with you Shizune." Both women were caught off guard by the older woman's words.

"It scares me to death to think that I'd be intentionally sending Naruto out to fight the monsters that want him most. But…" Everyone stiffened.

"In regards to sending another team, I highly doubt they'd succeed. This wouldn't be just another mission for Naruto and Sakura, Sasuke is more than a teammate…he's their friend." The finality in her words was enough for Shizune to focus her eyes on her feet, courage shriveling.

"Understood, but I still feel that Naruto-."

"What do you think Naruto would say about this?" Tsunade looked up at the shadow above her, smiling when the atrocious orange violated her eyes. Both women standing with her looked up in time to hear him speak.

"Baa-chan…we need some new teammates!" Naruto announced and leaped from his perch, somersaulting in the air and landing on the railing next to Tsunade.

"Sound good?" Tsunade asked him with a smile, her head turned to meet his glistening cerulean eyes.

"Hell yeah!" He chirped and readied himself for take off, but his feet never left the railing. Tsunade's arm was wrapped around his middle and pulling him down.

"Hold it, you little punk!" She said and pulled him down onto the platform with her, Shizune, and Sakura. With a few muttered curses and unintelligible grumblings, Naruto was securely on the platform.

"You're always so impatient…" Tsunade scolded.

"You're always so bossy!" Naruto snapped and folded his arms over his chest, missing the vein pulsing in Tsunade's temple.

"That's because I am the boss." She growled under her breath.

"Anyway…I'm going to fill the two vacancies left by Kakashi and Sasuke. So you're welcome, I just saved you some time."

"But, are they gonna be weirdo's? C'mon baa-chan! Lemme pick em'!" Naruto clapped his hands together and closed his eyes.

"No." Tsunade announced and bopped him on the head.

"OW!" Naruto yelped and rubbed the back of his head.

"I still don't have to jump, kiddo. When did you say that growth spurt would hit?" Tsunade teased as she turned to leave the rooftop, stopping abruptly when she saw one of her counselors.

"Tsunade…" Ugh, she sounded like a nagging mother.

"Ah, crap!" Tsunade grumbled as she made the motion to dart off the building, stopping when she felt a hand grab her green coat. She snapped her blonde head around to see the shriveled up old Koharu holding her back, her face blank like nothing had even happened.

"Come with me please, we need to talk." She said calmly and evenly, her vice grip never wavering.

"HA, HA, HA! Baa-chan got caught!" Naruto laughed as he held his gut. Tsunade glared at him, ready to open her mouth and bark his ear off when she was pulled off balance.

"Be quiet, young man. You're no longer needed, leave." Naruto stopped laughing and got quiet, a look of hurt spreading across his face.

"Don't talk to him like that." Tsunade glared at the older woman and swatted her hand from her coat.

"And don't touch me." Tsunade warned as she walked past Koharu.

"Go get some ramen or something Naruto, this won't take long…" Tsunade turned back to face him, gaze soft as she watched him stick a forced smile on his face.

"Sure…" He was gone.

"Satisfied?" Tsunade turned back to Koharu, brows knitted in anger as she disappeared into the darkness of the doorway. Koharu was silent as she followed the Hokage inside, Shizune not far behind.

"We'll talk later, Sakura." Shizune added sweetly, eyes saying other wise. Sakura wasn't convinced as she left the building to tend to her sensei.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Hey, kid!" Jiraiya's voice bellowed in the small ramen stand as he poked his head of spiky white hair in, onyx eyes sparkling when he saw Naruto standing by the counter.

"Hey Pervy Sage." Naruto greeted quietly as he politely took the take-out bag from the ramen man, turning on his heels and heading out.

"Don't you usually eat in?" Jiraiya asked, puzzled by the sight of the take-out bag. Naruto nodded as he shoved his change in his pocket and kept walking.

"Don't you usually talk?"

"Yes." Naruto said, a bit annoyed.

"Sorry." Jiraiya backed off, deciding to change the subject.

"How was your day?" Cheesy, he even put on his creepy smile.

"Fine."

"Alright, this is just too weird. What's wrong with you?" Jiraiya stepped in front of the teenager, blocking him en route.

"I'm tired Pervy Sage, and I'm bringing baa-chan some dinner because she just got out of a meeting." He answered his master in one breath.

"Bye." Naruto jumped off, leaving his master to relish in his jealousy.

"I wanna bring Tsunade dinner, and dessert…" He arched an eyebrow and smiled his most lecherous grin, his mind wandering into…private territory.

**OoOoOoOoooOooooOoOoO**

The knock on her door stirred her frazzled mind awake, getting her to open her mouth after it being closed for over an hour.

"Hey baa-chan…" Naruto chirped quietly as he came into her office, gently closing the door behind him.

"I brought ramen."

"Thank you, Naruto…" Tsunade beamed tiredly as she lifted the foam bowl from the take-out bag and opened it up, Naruto scooting his seat over to her side and opening his bowl, handing her a pair of chopsticks.

"How did your meeting go?" Naruto asked her as he lifted his first hot mouthful of noodles to his hole, slurping them up and waiting for her to answer.

"Well, the two places have been filled, at least one of them for sure isn't creepy. I asked for him personally. You'll get along great. But the other one…"

"Is creepy…" Naruto finished her sentence, eyes squinting and pouty.

"I don't even know." She laughed and twirled some noodles on her chopsticks.

"Anything else?" He was like a doting husband, taking the time to listen to her bitch. It was cute.

"I really hate old people…they're like cockroaches, they just don't die." Tsunade grumbled and slurped some of her own noodles, her frame melting as she swallowed.

"This is good." She smiled and turned to Naruto.

"Wow." He sniggered and started fishing for more noodles.

"What? They're annoying! And crotchety…" She mumbled and held her chopsticks over her bowl, eyes staring at nothing in particular as she remembered that grumpy old woman tugging on her coat.

"I'm sorry she talked to you like that…" Tsunade finally spoke, her eyes now on Naruto with his mouth full of noodles. She couldn't help but smile, he reminded her of a child. Naruto swallowed and looked back at her.

"It's okay, I'm used to it-!" Tsunade let loose a dissatisfied breath as she swiveled in her chair and took hold of his chin.

"You shouldn't have to accept stuff like that! You did nothing wrong!"

"People do it anyway! You should have been here when I was younger! People would throw rocks at me and not let their kids play with me, and nobody ever told me why…" His anger simmered down until all that was left was a grumpy face. Tsunade sat in her chair, still holding his chin. Sighing, she moved her hand so it cupped his chin.

"You should be sainted." She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek, then returning to her dinner. He's right; she should have been there.

**Doesn't that make you wanna give Naruto a big hug? I hate those stuffy old people, especially Danzo, he's a snake... Reviews are loved, you know how I like em'.**

**PEACE :P**


	6. Growing Pains

**AN: I'm just getting over a cold and this was my medicine. It helped me divert my attention away from my throbbing head and achey everything. So enjoy, I promise it has no germs.**

Kakashi laid in his hospital bed, faintly staring at the occupant of the bed next to him, a small amount of annoyance glinting in his open eye. The busty blonde woman reading his chart had long since redirected her attention to-

"Mhhh, Sak-u-ra chaaaan…" The blonde teenager mumbled groggily as he tossed and turned in his sleep, the pillow he had in a vice grip looking ready to pop a stitch. Tsunade put Kakashi's chart back on the edge of his bed and strode over to Naruto.

"And how long has he been here?" Tsunade quizzed as she watched her blonde boy roll and shove his face into the mattress, sticking and waving his butt in the air.

"Ever since I told him about his special training…he moved in saying he'd be ready at a moment's notice…" Kakashi sighed and raised his book to his face, his eye still watching the boy wave his butt around.

"Alrighty." Tsunade sighed as she walked to the side of his bed, gently shaking his shoulders.

"Naruto." She called his name, getting a snore in response.

"Hey!" She called firmly and tugged on the lobe of his ear. This got him moving.

He shot up like a rocket, slapping a hand to his ear to protect it from further damage as he cast the blonde Hokage a glare.

"What was that for, baa-chan?" He gave her an angry pout.

"You were waving your butt around, I was afraid you were gonna hurt someone." Tsunade lied as she flipped her hair and planted her hands on her ample hips.

"Do you have a medical reason to be staying in my hospital?" Naruto blanched at this, darting his eyes from his baa-chan to his sensei.

"Umm, my shoulder hurts?" He tried, rubbing his left shoulder in emphasis. Tsunade arched a brow and gave Kakashi a humored glance.

"It does, huh? Well let me check it out…" She started moving closer and Naruto started sweating bullets.

"But it's nothing worthy of the Hokage's skill and beauty to waste her time with, can't a nurse do it?" She sat on his bed and lifted his head by the chin and looking into his eyes.

"Why waste a poor nurse's time when I'm right here. The best medical treatment for the cutest patient…" A hellish fire glinted in her eyes as her grip on Naruto's chin tightened.

"Just let me take a look, it'll be real quick cutie pie." Naruto was seriously considering the open window as a much needed escape, now matter how serious or affectionate she was being, Tsunade never called anyone over the age of four _cutie pie_, and even if she did know a four year old, he highly doubted she'd go that far.

"Lets take a look see… She slipped her arm around his neck and locked his head against her chest, moving him until his back was facing her. Her hands passed over his _complaining _shoulder with practiced ease, her fingers dancing from muscle to muscle. The contact made Naruto stop his flailing and choking to where he was just feeling her fingers flit across his back, stopping on his shoulder.

"Does this hurt?" She asked him gently as she pinched high on his bicep. He winced a bit, he could feel she wasn't trying anything, and it made him realize he was actually hurting.

"Yeah…" Naruto answered her, a bit surprised. She gave a nod and left his bicep, moving up to the cap of his shoulder and digging a gentle finger in it.

"How about here?" He gave her a groan, nodding his head as she slipped him from his headlock. She moved to the base of his neck, honey-brown eyes carefully scanning her boy over. She pressed three fingers down on the nape of his neck, getting him to melt under her touch.

"Right here, too?" She whispered and he grunted a reply.

"Okay." Her hands left him but she stayed where she was, letting him rest on her front.

"He's not dying or anything, because training can be postponed if he is…" Kakashi added from behind his book.

"No! I'm fine!" Naruto defended, not leaving his position on his baa-chan, it was too comfy.

"Well that shoulder sounds serious, Naruto. Lady Tsunade hit all the right places." He mumbled as he turned the page.

"Well baa-chan's a doctor! She knows where to poke to make it hurt."

"I did nothing of the sort!" She sounded outraged as she looked down on Naruto who was still slumped against her chest.

"That was from you overexerting your un-dominant hand too much, fool." She growled the last bit and tugged on his ear.

"Ow! Now they'll admit me for that, baa-chan! That hurt…" Naruto pouted and tried swatting the older woman's hand away, but she was too fast.

Kakashi watched on with his one eye, hiding behind his book, smiling under his mask as he watched the blondes bicker and tease each other like any normal (it's a stretch) mother and son. Sighing, he shook his head and returned to his book when Naruto started laughing from Tsunade thwacking his nose with her finger.

If the rest of his stay were like this, he'd probably be able to live through it.

**I'd be able to live if they kept their voices down, but I highly doubt a miracle such as that would just fall from the sky on a silver platter...damn! Oh well, blondes will be blondes! Hope you enjoyed, next one will be up...in time...**

**PEACE :P**


	7. Like going in Reverse

**AN: SOOOO sorry for the long wait! I've been so busy this past week you wouldn't believe! But I just started relaxing today when I realized, "CRAP! I have to update something!" So I went zoom-zoom-zoom and boom! Here's the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Gimme and N, now an O, and a T, how bout an H, as well as an I, now an N, and finally, gimme a G! What's that spell?**

Whiskey eyes smoldered with an apprehensive fire. Before her stood her shaky little boy, well he wasn't so little anymore, but he was still as much that cute little twelve year-old she met all those years ago.

But now he stood a bit broken; his eyes weren't as bright, but sharp and intense. His shoulders were slumped and his normal fox-like grin was nowhere in sight.

It was scary.

"Naruto…" Tsunade started quietly, still not able to read him properly and unsure of how safe the waters she was treading were. His cerulean orbs snapped up to meet her honey-brown. At least he was listening to her.

"How did it go?" He stayed silent for some time, staring at his blonde baa-chan, and she could have sworn his bottom lip had trembled, but she wouldn't dare point it out in front of his team. Naruto finally took a breath to speak.

"Not too good, baa-chan. He…he got away…again." He muttered the last part angrily. Tsunade had to hold herself from jumping from her seat and wrapping her arms around him, to just bury him in her arms and never let him go. But again, he was a teenager, and a boy; public displays of affection were a big no-no.

"What do you plan on doing now?" Their eyes were still locked.

"We're not giving up." He answered for his team, Sakura nodding sharply off on the side.

"Alright then…"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Over time, Jiraiya had learned the various in and outs of the famed big red building that sat in the center of the village, so well he could sneak in to his blonde goddess's office without alerting the copious ANBU keeping invisible watch.

And today being like any other day, the toad sannin was making his slinky way to her wall of windows; reaching the first one he knew she always kept open for him. His calloused fingers got hold of the glass, ready to pull it open, but he stopped when voices sounded from inside.

"…are you sure you're alright? You can stay here for a while if you want, we can talk…" It was Tsunade, her soft voice gentle and soothing as she watched the person in front of her carefully.

"But you're busy, and-."

"I can take the rest of the day off." Wow, she didn't sound the least bit desperate about it, not like the way she whines to Shizune. Jiraiya felt it was about time to reveal himself, pushing open the window and popping his head in.

"Have you become so uncivilized that you've forgotten how to use doors?" Tsunade snapped as she watched him slide in, hands raised in a ready defense. She was clearly agitated, he noticed it was the kind she got when she was protecting something, or someone.

"I thought the window would be easier…I don't like it when the receptionist ogles me." Jiraiya gave his blondes a lecherous grin, avoiding the pen Tsunade threw at his head.

"You have a receptionist?" Naruto quizzed with a cocked head, blue eyes sparkling with childish curiosity, something only he could pull of at his age.

"She's Shizune's replacement-!"

"What happened to Shizune?" Naruto cried, totally lost.

"No, no, no, she's not-!"

"When I left her this morning she was fine." Jiraiya sniggered, quickly wiping his face clean when Tsunade sent him the Glare of Death® (trademark of Tsunade Senju, all rights reserved).

"Shizune is just a little sick. She'll be back tomorrow…" Tsunade explained through clenched teeth with her slender fingers rubbing her temples.

"Oh…that was a lame joke, Pervy Sage!" Naruto blubbered and folded his arms across his chest.

"Anyway…take the day off, Tsunade. We could all go grab some lunch and talk…" Jiraiya conveniently changed the conversation, sending his obsidian eyes over to his busty blonde, and then glancing at his sun-kissed boy.

"And don't say you can't because I heard you offer yourself up to Naruto. So, sweet cheeks, you hungry?"

"Sweet cheeks…?" Naruto mumbled as he looked between the sannin.

"Call me sweet cheeks one more time and I'll gouge out your eyes with chopsticks and throw them down an ugly old lady's shirt." With the threat known, Tsunade rose from her chair and walked around her desk, putting her hand on Naruto's shoulder and leading him out, leaving Jiraiya to visualize the pain.

"Oww…" The pervert hurried after his blondes, lips sealed.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Sasuke sounds a lot like Orochimaru…" Jiraiya mumbled distantly as he slurped up more of his noodles, Tsunade finishing her second bowl and went ahead and ordered another. Naruto was right in front of her when his fourth steaming bowl was placed before him.

"He does…" Tsunade sighed and played with her chopsticks while Naruto dug into his ramen.

"He just seems so…far away, you know? Like no matter how hard I try, there's just this enormous gap between us that I don't think I can fill." His hungry pace slowed as he stared into the golden broth. Jiraiya on the other end did the same, remembering how horribly he had failed when it came to his friend.

"I know what you mean." He breathed and started drinking his broth. Sitting in the middle, Tsunade was handed her third serving. She looked at both of her companions with sad eyes before she took her first bite.

"History repeats itself…" Both of them looked to her as she twisted her chopsticks and took a bite, the two immediately coming to a telekinetic consensus.

Yes it does.

**Now all you pervy men know what will happen when you call women sweet cheeks. This is your warning!**

**PEACE :P**


	8. Hens and Roosters

**AN: OMG, I'm so sorry for the long wait, I kind of lost track of time or something. But I'm back, so never fear! This next chapter is a little short, but I'm gonna get back into the swing of things and work on this story more now that I'm finished with my bigger story, Baby Again. So please enjoy the latest chapter!**

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything cooler than a green Bionicle...**

It was of great surprise when the monk raced into her office, sweaty and smelling of blood.

His words were panicked and hurried, but his point made it across.

They were coming.

"Alert the twenty newly formed cells." Shizune sharply nodded and hurried off, Tsunade's eyes concentrated on the floor near the monk.

"Chiriku?" From his place kneeling on the floor, the monk's shaved head shook back and forth.

"Even him…" Tsunade had the most violent urge to chew her thumbnail off, but held herself back: the Hokage couldn't show weakness.

"Thank you, monk." She swiveled around in her chair and listened as he took his leave. Finally, when the door came to an irrevocable close, Tsunade let the heavy breath out she'd been holding for what seemed like years.

Like a tin can, she folded into herself, hugging her shoulders as she buried her face in the folds of her shirt, taking deep, shaky breaths. It was like lead had settled in the pit of her gut, weighing her down. She could feel it rising in her throat, stinging and tingling her esophagus as the hot burn of tears met her eyes.

"Stop, damnit. Stop…" Tsunade growled to herself as she sat up, wiped her eyes, and swallowed the lead in her throat, grunting it down.

Flashes of Naruto's face sped behind her eyes, his wide, happy smile, and those bright, hopeful eyes. She planted her elbows on the desk, holding her head with her hands.

"Will you stay?"

"I don't think I can…" Jiraiya made his way out of the shadows of her office, grim features set in his face.

"Are you serious? Of all the times, you pick now?" She only realized after the fact how angry she sounded.

"If they come knocking on the door, who's gonna keep Naruto safe?"

"What do you think we did when we were away? I wasn't teaching him how to knit, Tsunade."

"I know that!" She roared viciously and met his eyes, her honey turning a dark whiskey.

"The don't doubt him!"

"I never said I did, Jiraiya! I'm just…" Her anger simmered down and her words failed her and once again, the lead sagged her down.

"Worried." Jiraiya smiled and walked over to her desk, eyes soft and lost of the anger they recently held.

"To death." Tsunade breathed softly and let her eyes close, the lids suddenly feeling so heavy.

"Poor momma bear. You work too hard and you worry too much."

"It's a reasonable amount of worry, he's still a kid! And it scares me that sometimes I'd be sending him right into the laps of the people who are hunting him down, so yes Jiraiya, I'm scared out of my mind." Her gaze was hard as her eyes pierced his. Jiraiya didn't move from his spot, his brow knitted in the same kind of worry his female counterpart held deep inside of her.

"I know…" His lips parted and let the whisper fall out, getting Tsunade to soften her gaze.

"Do you?" He nodded slowly at her quivering words.

"I do."

The silence was one of deep understanding, something the two had with each other often. He stood with his head lowered and she sat staring at his soft, vulnerable face. It was heart braking for both of them.

"I'll check on him before I head out, okay?" She let out a low rattle, closing her eyes and smiling.

"Please."

* * *

The orange clad shadow clones cluttered the training field, all roaring and gritting their teeth as they focused all their energy into tearing the leaf in their hand.

"C'MON! ONE MORE!" With another chorus of grunts and roars, the clones pressed on with their chakra.

Over near Yamato's ritual circle, Kakashi raised his eye from his book when he heard the snapping of twigs off in the forest behind him.

"How goes it, Kakashi?" The jounin didn't need to turn around to know who it was, the deep voice enough of an ID.

"He's already starting to get tears." The clank of Jiraiya's sandals on the hard earth grew louder as he made his way over, giving Yamato a quick nod in greeting.

"Are you heading off on another intelligence gathering mission, master?" Kakashi asked, nose still deep in his book. Jiraiya nodded as he watched the horde of Naruto's turn their heads when they noticed he was there.

"PERVY SAGE!" Came a thundering chorus of greetings from the boisterous blondes as all of the clones disappeared and one ran over to him.

"Where to this time?"

"I have some sources near Stone, I guess I'll head over there." The sage smiled when Naruto finally bounded over to him, a happy grin painting his face.

"Hey, kid! How's training?" Naruto caught his breath and swallowed.

"Good! I almost got the leaf thing down, so soon I'll be even more badass than I already am!" The teenager giggled and scratched the back of his head.

"Well I wish you the best of luck, kiddo. When I get back, you show me what you've got."

"Where are you going?" Naruto panted and wiped his face on his sleeve.

"To gather some intel." _And check to see if there are any more of those Akatsuki creeps crawling this way. _Jiraiya put on the face he used to hide things from the teen; a broad smile and bright eyes were enough to keep the wool over his eyes.

"Kay, then we can get some ramen or something."

"What is it with you and food, kid?"

"Well this stuff makes me really hungry!" Jiraiya let a bellowing laugh rattle through him.

"Okay, okay, we'll get food. Now get back to being badass." Naruto giggled and raced back to his designated training area, crossing his fingers and reassembling his army of clones.

Kakashi looked at the toad sage with an expectant eye, knowing the man never really dropped in like this unless it was something vital.

"Tsunade asked if I could check in on him before I go…she's worried about him."

"Worried about what?"

"A pair of Akatsuki attacked the Fire Temple early this morning, and like any mother hen, she's clucking her head off." Under his mask, Kakashi was smiling at the analogy.

"I've noticed she gets like that too…"

"It must be a girl thing…" Jiraiya laughed as he started walking away.

"But Kakashi, seriously…" Jiraiya leaned in near Kakashi.

"Please keep track of him for…us, I guess." Kakashi nodded and watched the big man leave, the smile under his mask growing.

"Cocka-doodle-doo, Lord Jiraiya…"

**Makes you want some chicken right now, huh? Thanks to every one who was patient, sorry once again about the wait. **

**Please review! **

**PEACE :P**


	9. On those windy days

**AN: I really should apologize for these haphazard updates, but I just seem to be lost in my own little universe here, sorry!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto, sadly, does not belong to me, otherwise, Jiraiya would still be alive. Kishimoto, *shakes fist*.**

"Tenzo…" The jounin snapped his head away from the small army of orange clad ninja before him to the whisper of his name from behind.

The Hokage made her easy way over, no evident rush in the even sway of her hips.

"How is he?"

"Uh, h-he's getting better." Her feet made no sound when she finally came into his circle of sealing, and he realized (even with his ANBU training) he wouldn't have heard her approach if she hadn't called out his name. He figured old habits must die hard.

"Good." Tsunade wasn't even looking at him; her deep honey glazed eyes were focused on the mass of Narutos' before her, still oblivious to her presence.

"I'm going to need him for something, so on a scale of one to ten, where would you put him as ready for a mission? With this new jutsu on board ready for him to use in emergencies?" Tenzo squinted his eyes to block the sun his Hokage was standing directly under.

He and Naruto had shared this pose once before when the teenager had stopped (much to the jounin's surprise) for a drink of water. And in that short minute, his silhouette nearly matched Tsunade's. The way her chin cast a shadow on her neck, the same way his did to him.

It was uncanny and a little haphazard, but his training sharpened his observation skills.

"I'd place Naruto at about a five right now."

"What?" Tsunade closed her mouth very quickly after her outburst, almost obviously checking to make sure her voice hadn't carried.

"Only a five after all this training?" With her temper under a bit more control, Tsunade set her eyes on back on Tenzo, glaring a bit as she recognized her grandfather's stare behind those eyes.

"Well, he already had trouble forming a regular Rasengan normally-!"

"Whoever said that boy was normal?" Tsunade laughed momentarily, more to herself than anyone else.

"Right." He would laugh back, for politeness sake.

"But, with adding his chakra nature in the mix, it's requiring a bit more concentration and effort. Well not just a bit, more like much more than he's ever had to do." The Hokage gave a small nod, her eyes once again leaving the jounin to focus on the sunny blonde a ways away.

"He'll get it…I believe in him." Before Tenzo could snap his eyes to meet hers, she was gone, leaving only a tiny puff of dust in the wake of her imperceptible movements.

"She must know something I don't…" Tenzo grumbled and returned his focus back on Naruto, who was looking at him with that little dumb face of his.

"Was someone just here?"

* * *

"Where did you go? You know you have work to do!" Shizune scolded the older woman like some nagging mother. Tsunade walked past her and rolled her eyes, slipping off her coat and hanging it on the back of her chair.

"Lady Tsunade, are you listening?"

"Yes, mother!" Tsunade snapped as she held up her head with her hand, putting on her best grumpy face and staring at her assistant.

"Don't give me that face. Between you and Naruto, I swear…" She continued grumbling some other unintelligible thoughts while (miraculously) Tsunade reached for her pen and the first paper on top of the large stack growing in strength each day.

"You know Shizune?" Tsunade started as she scribbled down some things on the paper, not even looking up as she waited for her assistant to calm herself.

"Yes?" Wait for it.

"You need to calm your tits, girl…" As if nothing had just been said, Tsunade signed the paper and reached for another, not even giving her assistant a glance. Not that she needed to, Tsunade could totally picture the brunette's face in her head.

"What? Did you just say that?"

"Yup. You need to take a chill pill or get laid or something, hun. You're always so uptight, I'm really worried about your health." Shizune was silent in her shock, dark eyes bulging at the audacity of her mistress.

All the while Tsunade was sneaking out, chuckling lightly to herself as her clone began reaching for the next piece of paperwork.

* * *

"Yamato-taicho! It's too hard!" Naruto whined loudly enough to get his babysitter to cringe.

"You've almost got it." Tenzo shouted back, anything to get him to stop making such loud noises.

"BUT IT'S NOT WORKING! NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, IT'S JUST NOT GETTING TO WHERE IT NEEDS TO BE!" The kid thought his captain couldn't hear him, idiot.

"Are you seriously whining?" A loud, roaring female voice bellowed from a tree nearby Tenzo's circle, taunting and arrogant.

"Lady Tsunade?"

"BAA-CHAN?" Naruto squinted his eyes tight to see through the heat haze and distance, making out the shape of one of his favorite people.

"I decided to see if I could be of any help, seeing as how you look about ready to tear ass outta here, Tenzo." Her smile was warm and friendly, platinum in its mirth.

"Thank you, Lady Tsunade, you must be clairvoyant." He chuckled as returned to his watch as Tsunade sauntered over to her blonde boy.

"HI BAA-CHAN!"

"STOP YELLING! I'M RIGHT HERE!" She bopped him on the head, a smile never leaving her lips as she watched him rub it off and smile for her.

"What are you having trouble with?" Tsunade asked as she handled Naruto's battered hands with her own, healing as she went.

"Getting the wind to mix in with the Rasengan…it's really hard." Naruto pouted and wiped his sweaty brow, looking to his baa-chan with pleading eyes.

"Have you tried imagining sharpening a blade inside your head?" He cocked his head to the side like a little monkey.

"How do you know that?"

"I have wind natured chakra too, but I ever rarely use it anymore. When I use the Chakra Scalpel, it works perfectly."

"Cool! I didn't know that! Isn't being a wind type badass?" Tsunade rolled her eyes and chuckled softly.

"Sure kiddo…"

"Did you have to cut the paper and everything, too?" Tsunade nodded.

"My grandmother taught me, since she was a very big wind user. I cut paper, leaves, tree branches, and a rock when I was older. That was fun…" Like she had gotten lost in her memories, Tsunade's eyes drifted from Naruto's to somewhere around the horizon.

"Anyway, I thought I'd swing by and help you out, seeing as how I have nothing better to do."

"You've always got paperwork."

"I said nothing better." Her eyes held a moment of frost, then it melted, returning to the warm honey Naruto had come to love.

"Right, right, anyway, how do you do it?"

"Well, imagine the blade thing and then…" The lesson dragged on for almost two hours, the length from the sannin having to repeat and dumb-down some things for Naruto, slowing a bit at crucial parts.

Then the actual exercise started with Tsunade exploding with wind while Naruto focused on his Rasengan, watching how she manipulated her wind and incorporating her style in his own.

Kakuzu would die still feeling the prickling pain of Senju and Uzumaki wind chakra deep in his muscles and nerves, amplified by the overwhelming mass of chakra that little blonde twerp had unleashed.

It was a sight to see.

**Girl, you just need to calm your tits, kay? Please review, they're highly appreciated! **

**PEACE :P**


	10. A Felony on Mother's Day

**AN: Doesn't that title just grab your attention? So sorry I've been lazy with my updates, but lately, my motivation has slowly been decreasing and my fingers just can't do the walkin'. But please accept this extremely late Mother's Day gift as penance, because I luv you guys! **

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I still have not conquered Mr. Kishimoto and have not become owner of Naruto. But I still have tomorrow...**

* * *

As she sat in her over-sized chair, slowly trudging through her massive stack of paperwork, she could feel a small flicker of wind on the back of her neck.

The stirrings of her battle instincts made her stiffen in her chair and her eyes darted inconspicuously from her paperwork to the door.

Nothing.

Her whiskey eyes left the door, lingering for the slightest of moments until her conscious told her it was nothing.

But her hand just didn't seem to have the heart to let the wisp of air go, so she put her pen down.

Leaning back until her back hit the smooth black pleather of the chair, the busty Hokage let out a long, sleepy yawn as she checked the clock.

"Good god, it's already nine." Tsunade rubbed the back of her neck and let a pout spread across her face.

It was Sunday, she shouldn't be allowed to work on Sunday. Shizune should have at least let her sleep in until like twelve, but of course that was completely out of the question.

"I'm hungry..." Just as Tsunade swiveled to get out of her chair, the wind came back, stronger now, and cold as it made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

"That is pissing me off." Suddenly, big arms wrapped around her shoulders and one big hand covered her mouth, silencing the surprised gasp that came from her lips on contact.

She threw an elbow for her assailant's face, making contact with a cheekbone.

A pained grunt landed on Tsunade's cheek, but the strong arms didn't waver, and soon enough, consciousness was quickly fading.

"Dammit…" She moaned as she tried releasing the genjutsu that had just been placed on her, but knew from the feel of the chakra, it wouldn't be easy.

Soon enough, the Hokage was unconscious in the arms of her attacker.

* * *

It was a groggy awakening, and her eyes were bleary when she opened them. There was a pale light in front of her, something like candles flickering in and out of her peripheral. She moved her hand to wipe a cold sweat from her brow, almost slapping herself when she didn't feel restraints on her limbs.

"What the hell?" Snapping open her eyes and searching the walls of the room before her, Tsunade jumped from her seat and scanned the entire room.

"_Hey!" _She shouted, hard voice booming in the small living room, which she noticed to be very familiar. Closing her mouth, she took a step towards the couch she was just sitting on, picking up the unmistakable scent of-

"Pervy Sage, is the ramen done?"

"_Naruto?"_

"Oh, crap! She's awake!"

"_What the hell did you do to me?"_

"Put that over there, squirt."

"_Jiraiya?"_ She was more than livid as she made her way into the dinky little kitchen her boys were holed up in.

"Now Tsunade, don't be upset." Jiraiya was duly ignored as she stormed up to him, grabbed him by the collar, and brought her face right into his.

"Did you kidnap me?" Tsunade seethed as she bored holes into Jiraiya's onyx eyes, watching him sweat as her fists tightened around his collar.

"We had Shizune's permission." Naruto explained shakily as he came over, hands on Tsunade's fists and trying his best to lower them and his master. Tsunade gave the teenager an incredulous look, loosing her grip on the tall man in her hands as she stared the blonde down.

"_What is that supposed to mean?" _Tsunade was basically hissing now, readying her hands for Naruto.

"She said it was okay to take you out for dinner tonight because it's Mother's Day." Naruto blurted out all at once when her hands got dangerously close to his throat.

"What?" With her hands shaking so violently as they were, it took time for them to finally fall back down to her sides. Jiraiya took a step closer to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"Feel familiar?"

"Get off me!" She wiggled out of his grasp and over to Naruto, turning to glare at him.

"I'm not a mother, Naruto." She looked like she was about to say more, but stopped when her eyes found Naruto's face.

"Well, you've been more of a mother to me than anything else, baa-chan. So I wanted to do something nice for you." At those words, Tsunade's heart melted and she turned to look at Naruto and Jiraiya.

"That's so sweet, Naruto. Thank you, honey." She wrapped him in a hug and gave him a light peck on the cheek.

"But you!" She spun around at a violent speed, slender finger aimed at Jiraiya's heart and eyes steely as she stared him down.

"Never, ever again do you get to manhandle me like that. You know I always hated that genjutsu of yours! I am Hokage and I will punish you severely…" A few more seconds of her death glare and she turned back to Naruto, who happily stood near the boiling pot of ramen.

"Ready to eat?" With a happy little grin and oven mitts a bit too big for his hands, Naruto bounced on his feet at her nod and readied the pot, Jiraiya collecting the bowls as the team worked in an assembly line fashion.

"That smells divine, guys. Did you make this yourselves?" Two triumphant nods.

"Awesome." Naruto walked Tsunade over to a little table, a pretty yellow tablecloth covering it and three places set. He pulled out her chair and tucked it in when she sat, and moved to grab something from behind the couch.

"You didn't have to do all this for me, Naruto."

"No, I wanted to." He sat down next to her, a bouquet in his hands with two wrapped boxes: one looking fairly decent while the other was wrapped in newspaper, with Naruto's unmistakable scrawl of, "BAA-CHAN" on it.

"These are for you." Tsunade smiled warmly as she took the flowers from him and watched as he placed her presents on the table in front of her.

"You can open them now if you want." Oh he was eager, she could see it all over his face. He was basically on the edge of his seat, face close to hers as Tsunade looked over the two boxes with a glint of teasing behind them.

"Well, I thought about opening them _after_ dinner, but since you're so excited…" She tore open Jiraiya's gift as he made his way in with three bowls of hot ramen, eyes sparkling with mirth as he watched her eyes light up.

"Oh…" Tsunade held the unwrapped box with careful hands, eyes sparkling with childish delight as she read and reread the label.

"Alcoholic dark chocolate." She was beginning to froth lightly at the mouth.

"Thank you, Jiraiya!" Tsunade hugged his waist as he placed her bowl in front of her, the steam rising into oblivion.

"Open mine, open mine!" Naruto was shivering in his seat, eyes big and anxious as Tsunade ripped off the newspaper.

She came to find a box with a shiny red lid on top. With careful hands, she lifted it off and looked inside.

"Oh Naruto…" One hand went inside the box and brought out a silver locket that gleamed in the light hanging overhead. Tsunade marveled the jewelry, turning it over in her fingers and prying it open.

"That's from the hot spring we went to after we got you to be Hokage. And there's something else at the bottom." Gently as she could, Tsunade put the locket down on the napkin beside her and dug deeper in the box, her hand coming across something along the lines of metal.

"Naruto I love this. It's so beautiful." The frame of the picture was painted brass, a forest like green. It was in the shape of leaves and tree branches, intertwining with another and making this vine-like pattern on the entirety of the frame. And the picture was even more of a sight.

Twelve year-old Naruto stood next to a leaning Tsunade, her arm around his shoulders and a mouth full of dango on both of them. Naruto had sauce all over his face and Tsunade had a stick dangling from her lips, two dumplings already devoured. She was reaching for his face with a napkin; smile wide as she held him tight so he couldn't get away. He was laughing with his face pulling away from her hand, eyes closed in glee as he tried pulling free from her grasp.

"Thank you Naruto, Jiraiya. This means a lot." Tsunade wiped a small tear from her eye and engulfed Naruto in a hug, holding onto him for a good ten seconds and whispering a thank you.

"Alright!" She chirped as she pulled away and ushered Jiraiya to sit.

"Lets eat!"

* * *

**D'aw, wasn't that just the sweetest thing a tard like Naruto could do? I thought so... :)**

** For all of you awesome readers who have been baring with me, I bow to you patient beyond belief people, you supremely rock! Thank you so much! **

**PEACE :P**


	11. I love you

**AN: Banged this out in about a day or two because I felt pretty guilty for taking so long to upload the last few chapters. :) So please enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: nothing cooler than Chuck Norris' old socks belong to me. (Even those would be like the Holy Grail to me!)**

* * *

"For a legendary drunk, you sure know how to spill your guts." He was trying to be funny, but she wasn't exactly in the mood for jokes, seeing as how she was momentarily throwing her innards up.

"Shut up." Tsunade managed between breaths, then going back to her vomiting. Jiraiya rubbed her back and felt her muscles contract and tighten as everything came out. He quickly grabbed one of her pigtails before it swung into the stream of sick that flowed from her.

"Lets go find someplace to rest for a bit." As she wiped her mouth, Tsunade looked up at Jiraiya, tired eyes searching his face for an emotion regarding their earlier talk.

Nothing.

* * *

"You know, I think I've told you this before but you must not have been listening. You're dumb, you do dumb things and dumb people shouldn't go charging off to do very dumb things."

"Oh how sagely you are, princess." Jiraiya's chuckle was deep and loud, shaking her a bit from the vibrations traveling through the wooden bench.

The moment turned to silence, and soon it became tense as Tsunade started fiddling with the ends of her shirt.

"Just don't die." Jiraiya didn't look at her, just focusing his eyes more intensely on the fence a few yards away.

Of course he knew she would say that, but what he wasn't expecting was the emotion, the tremble in her voice as the words came out. That kind of weakness from her was like getting a fish to walk around on land, it just didn't happen.

That didn't mean he didn't find it funny.

"Stop laughing you idiot. I'm serious, if I lost you too-."

"What? You'd cry? Aww, that makes me all fuzzy inside, Tsunade." An angry pout spread over her face, and her eyes turned to lasers as she bored them into his head.

"Hush."

Jiraiya smiled, looking over his blonde princess one more time, knowing this might be the last time he got to be close to her, to take in the nice smell of her perfume, to watch the light wind lift her hair.

_I love you._

It was too heavy for his jaw, his tongue went rigid the moment the thought of the words came to him. No, you'll put her in a panic, don't.

You were never meant for happiness.

"Thank you."

"For what?" He watched the way her nose scrunched in confusion, how her eyes twinkled in the dimming light, the highlights of honey bursting from the sea of whiskey. She was a sight to behold, a muse with fingers like silk, hair woven of gold, a smile blessed by angels themselves.

_I love you._

"For making me a better man. I'm tougher now because of you, Tsunade." She laughed, tiredly and wearily. Her eyes left him and she spread herself out on the bench, hanging her arms on the back and crossing her legs over again.

He decided it was a good time to leave, so he hefted his scroll onto his back and turned his cheek to the north, staring at the sky.

"Jiraiya." He stopped, heart pounding from his foiled escape plan, it would have been so cool, like the ones in the movies.

"Hmm?"

"Out of all the women you've claimed to have '_rocked', _how many did you actually love?" Jiraiya's cheeks darkened at the tone of her voice as she passed over her words.

"Claimed is such a tiny word, more like proven."

"Whatever, just answer my question dammit." She set her lips in a line, that cute little upset face she'd been making since they were kids. Jiraiya figured she wasn't even aware of it.

"None of them." Tsunade snapped her eyes to meet his, incredulous.

"Seriously? None of them?" He shook his head.

"They weren't who I wanted." She snapped her mouth shut at this, knowing where his words would take them soon enough.

_I love you._

She wanted to say it, but the sound of her heart pounding was enough to block out any and all thoughts traveling from her brain to her mouth.

A cool breeze passed through the part of the park they were in, lifting some dead leaves and scuttling them to and fro, and rays from the red hot sun started to trickle beneath the horizon, calling for an end to the day.

"Tsunade-!"

"I love you." Like a child that had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, Tsunade sat on the bench with her head low, face a mess of red and hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt once again.

His knees rattled for a millisecond and he could have sworn his heart stopped for a moment, but it was the greatest moment of his life.

"I love you too."

"Then don't go, just stay with me and Naruto and we can deal with Akatsuki some other way. Just please don't go!" Her tears were like bombs going off inside him, the worst things he would ever see. They stung him and he was standing five feet away, watching his beloved fall apart.

"Please Jiraiya, don't go, I want you here with me, stay please!" Her shoulders were shaking so hard she couldn't breath and her tears blurred her eyes so much she couldn't see.

"But I'm the only one who can-!"

"I don't care!" She shook her head and some of her tears went flying, glistening in the sunlight like diamonds.

"What about Naruto? You're putting him in danger by being selfish." Jiraiya stepped forward, eyes focused on Tsunade as she wiped her eyes, a new expression crossing her features.

"I don't care if I have to set the world on fire, I will keep that boy safe! Those bastards will have hell to pay if they want to come in here and take him from me." A fire with the wrath of hell behind it flashed in her eyes, lighting them up.

Jiraiya was taken aback. In all the years of him knowing her, she had never been that firm, never been so dangerous with just her words alone.

It was that fire he had been waiting to see brew in her.

"What I'm doing is the same as you, only more proactive."

"I'll break your legs."

"What?"

"I'll break your legs so you won't be able to walk for a month. I'll break your arms so you can't weave signs. I'll grind every bone in your body to dust with my bare hands if that's what it'll take to keep you with me."

"Stop it, Tsunade, you're starting to cry again."

"_I don't care!" _She shot up from the bench, anger rolling off her in waves as she stepped over to Jiraiya, intent on fulfilling her earlier promise.

Jiraiya caught her by the wrists and pinned her against his chest, feeling her squirm against him and bury her face in his chest.

"Please, please, please." Her face deepened into his chest, wanting so hard to just fuse with him and have them together forever.

"Better me than you, Tsunade. He needs you more."

"How do you know that?" Jiraiya sighed and smiled, waiting for his blonde princess to look up at him.

"Have you seen the way he looks at you? Do you even realize what you do around him? You're his family, his surrogate mother and no one else will ever be able to come close to what you can do for him." Jiraiya, with his large hands, took Tsunade by the shoulders and held her firm in his grip, eyes pouring into hers.

"If we lost you, who knows what us barbaric men would do in retaliation. But you would bring a calm to him, I know you would hold him up until he could do it on his own again." Tsunade nodded and wiped her eyes, sucking up some light congestion.

"I promise to be as safe as I can, and I promise you two will always be on my mind. I really love you a lot, Tsunade. Just remember that." He kissed her on the lips, pulling her in and holding her.

Then he vanished, leaving Tsunade standing there, watching the sunset and praying for the first time in a very long time.

_I love you._

* * *

**It just really makes you wish it had happened that way. Damn you Kishimoto! *shakes fist* Well, another one is done! **

**Alright, so I'll go wait in my little corner for reviews, love you guys! **

**PEACE :P**


	12. Rrawr

**AN: O. M. G... Do you guys realize how long I've gone using a Dell desktop? Which is like the root of all evil. The spawn of electronic Satan, and just the stupidest, most down right RETARDED piece of equipment I wish to throw out of a twenty story window, or higher. So that's why it's been waaaaaaay too long since last we spoke, my lovely readers. And I thank all of you patient Buddah's out there. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the italicized lines in the second half, I got those from a favorite childhood book whose title and respective author escape me...**

* * *

_But have you seen the way he looks at _**you**?

_You're **his** surrogate father._

_What will _**we** _do if _**you** _die?_

It was hard to just sit in her chair and scribble her name on paper after paper, she was numb on the inside, enough to where she didn't even hear her ball of sunshine come in through the door with his team in tow.

"Hiya baa-chan!" He was too loud for her right now; she just wanted it to be quiet. Too bad her thoughts couldn't project into reality.

"So I wanna mission. Can you give me something cool? Like go rescue a small town from a roaming gang of bandits?"

He kept on with his dumb list, and Tsunade just wanted him to leave, her head was still swimming from earlier that day. Sakura stood behind Naruto, watching her master carefully. Kakashi did the same, moving towards Naruto to try and control him.

"So? Can ya', baa-chan?" His face was right before hers, bright blue eyes watching her sit there, still like a statue.

She thought if she were quiet enough, he'd go away, like when you play dead before a bear, they loose interest. But this kid was no bear, just a stupid, precocious fox.

"Baa-chan?" He pushed his face closer to hers, repeating her name louder each time he said it.

That stupid nickname he always screamed at the top of his lungs in front of dozens of people, embarrassing her to no end.

"Naruto, stop doing that." Sakura whispered wearily from her place behind the blonde, watching as her master's shoulders shook in anger. Naruto turned around to face the pinkette, eyes unconcerned as he turned back to Tsunade.

Next to Sakura, Sai stood awkwardly as always. He watched, his beady black eyes analyzing the Hokage's body language, the way she closed her eyes in frustration as Naruto continued to pester. He knew she was getting ready to explode, at least that's how his book described it.

"Baa-chan?"

"_What!" _Tsunade finally snapped, pushing herself up and out of her chair, hands firm on her desk as she glared at Naruto.

"What could possibly so important that you have to interrupt me as rudely as you do? I'm in the middle of work, I can't just stop and bend over backwards just to give you what you want, Naruto. I have a village to run!"

**_But I would if you wanted me to._**

He was silent, his face still engrained in shock, his eyes wide and growing empty as he continued holding the gaze.

"Now you're quiet, after I have to yell at you for being annoying. What did you want? A mission?"

Tsunade dug through her piles of paperwork, fingers furiously digging until she found what she wanted.

"Here." She shoved the piece of paper in his face.

"A mission to keep you busy. Now go!" But he didn't move.

Naruto stood there, the mission paper hanging limply in his shaking hand. His head, so thick and dense, tried bringing reasons as to why his most beloved person would snap at him like the way she did. He had done this many times before, and her worst would always be a mild annoyance.

But this was violent, this was mean.

**_I never meant to be so cold, you didn't deserve that._**

"Did you go deaf or something? I said go."

"But it's only a D-rank." Her face was terrifying in its anger, motions that needed only milliseconds to occur lingered on her face. Her eyes widened and her brow knit into a deep anger, and inside her mouth, her teeth were grinding together so hard her jaw was beginning to hurt.

"That's the mission I've assigned you! You either take it or I take your headband and send you back to the academy!" Her growl was deep and vicious, and her eyes seemed to burn him like cigarettes.

"Naruto, come on. You're obviously irritating her." Kakashi reasoned, reaching for Naruto's arm and pulling him back.

"Get out and get it done!" She hollered as they left her office, each humbled, walking away like whipped dogs.

"Is she alright?" Shizune asked as she walked up to the team, face full of worry from the amount of yelling she'd heard. Kakashi nodded his head, his visible eye sheepishly smiling.

"She's a bit cranky. Naruto was being a tad annoying." Shizune absently nodded, looking to Naruto who hadn't stopped walking, he was halfway down the hall.

"It's been a long day, and she hasn't quite been herself since this morning. My apologies.

"It's quite alright, Shizune. I understand her stress." With that, the jounin left with his two ghostly charges after the bright orange boy now turning the corner to leave the building.

Shizune watched them leave, waiting a good five minutes before she let herself breath again.

"Cranky is _not_ the word I'd use." She mumbled as she replayed the heated shouts she could hear through the wall.

In all the early mornings and drag filled days, and no matter how many stacks of paperwork she endured, Shizune had never heard or even picked up on a trace of malice in her master's voice when Naruto came to her. He seemed to brighten her day, but this, this was very strange indeed. This meant something was deeply wrong with the sannin.

She gently knocked on the door and cracked it open, peeking inside to see Tsunade holding her head in her hands, strands of her golden hair dangling from between her fingers.

"Lady Tsunade?"

"Yes Shizune?" Her heart wasn't in the greeting, she barely breathed it.

"Do you want to take a break, maybe get something to eat?"

"I can't eat." Startled, Shizune stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"Why?" Tsunade sighed heavily and fell back in her chair, hands covering her face.

"I've lost my appetite." Shizune nodded.

"Tea maybe?"

"I can't drink." Another understanding nod from the quiet assistant as she watched Tsunade's hands slide down her face, slowly and painfully.

"Did that really just happen?" Tsunade asked, words full of hurt as she closed her eyes.

"Yes it did, I could hear you through the wall." The way the sannins' breath came out was startling, like she was dropping a heavy ball on her feet and imploding from the strain.

"What was that all about?" Shizune was in her mother-mode, nit-picking the older woman like a nagging old woman.

"I don't know." And the older woman was reverting back to her early childhood instincts: whine and blow everything off.

Shizune made a _hmmm_ noise in her mouth; it was low and suspicious.

"What did he do?"

"He was just being himself." Tsunade stretched back in her chair, rubbing her temples and keeping her eyes closed.

"I feel like a complete bitch."

"I have to agree with you." The assistant added under her breath.

Tsunade wore a look of slight outrage, an almost _how dare you_ face.

"You're the closest thing to a mother that boy has and you just snap and go off on him like that? I can understand to a point, but you've always been able to tolerate him. That – earlier, was something new." Shizune busied herself, her hands organizing papers and books in to neat piles and stacks, her eyes never meeting Tsunades' honey.

"I know how high you hold that boy, I'm not stupid, milady. And that lets me know something is very wrong." Now she snaps her eyes up, and they're dark and hard, very different from the usual Shizune.

Tsunade is at a loss for words. No one had ever, in her entire life, grown such a spine and told her what's what to her face.

But it was comforting to know the woman cared.

"Now you either tell me or I can put a rush on tomorrows' work."

"No, don't do that." Tsunade pleaded, voice small like that of a punished child.

"Then talk about it. I know it goes against your unspoken rule of emoting is a sign of weakness, but it's just me." She smiled lightly and put a hand on the blondes' shoulder.

A pregnant pause stuffed itself in the room, holding Tsunades' words in her throat, clogging it up until she felt the need to take a breath, just to make sure she still had the ability.

"Jiraiya left for Rain last night…" The assistant removed her hand, and now Tsunades' shoulder felt cold where it used to be.

"Oh goodness." And she returned to her busy-work, fixing a stray book here, using her kimono to wipe a drop of tea off the desk there.

"I told him I loved him." That got her to stop.

Shizune turned sharply on her heel, eyes happy as they met the blondes'.

"And he said he loved me too."

"I am so proud of you." Planting her hands on her hips, Shizune was beaming from ear to ear while her master just sat with a brow creased in confusion.

"What?"

"Oh come on!" Her hands moved from her hips to the desk and she leaned in, her weight on her hands and face inches from Tsunades'.

"In all the time I've known you, he's been there. Either hitting on you or protecting you or whatever it may be." She moved back, eyes gleaming with something that looked Machiavellian.

"You two are something like soul mates."

"Shut up Shizune." It wasn't a pleasant tone.

"My apologies, milady." With that she left, the tiny smile on her face never wavering.

Tsunade waited for a good minute before even moving a muscle, her breathing remaining low and heavy.

"Dammit."

She opened her bottom drawer with her foot, leaning over in her chair and reaching down inside.

"It's like having a little sister."

She cracked her bottle open and waited for her sunshine to return, hoping he wouldn't be too upset.

* * *

Her cheeks were a rose-red by the time Naruto made his way back in to her office, a little sweaty and nursing his shoulder, blood seeping in his jacket and spilling out into his hand.

"It wasn't a D!" He shouted, his voice a tad shaken and weak from blood loss.

**_I'll love you forever…_**

"What?" Tsunade was immediately sober, nearly vaulting over her desk to get to him.

**_I'll like you for always…_**

"Where was Sakura?" Her hands were on his wrecked shoulder, tearing back the outrageous orange sleeve to get to his wound.

"Turns out you sent us on a gang raid," He stopped to wince, muffling a cry when Tsunades' fingers pulled out the tip of a shuriken lodged deep in his shoulder cap.

"And they were all rouge shinobi, baa-chan. Sakura got captured and then I got separated from Kakashi-sensei and cornered and-! Ow!" He tore himself free from her hands and whimpered when the motion hurt more than the initial wound.

"Get over here!" Tsunade barked, rushing over to him and defeating the purpose of her growl.

**_I'll love you forever…_**

"Are the other two OK?" Naruto nodded, sucking up the snot in his nose.

"They went to the hospital and I came to you."

"Obviously." Tsunade managed to hold herself from rolling her eyes.

**_I'll like you for always…_**

"Why didn't you go with them?" She was close to calling him an idiot, but after her earlier fit, she knew he wouldn't do well with that.

Naruto went quiet, his eyes blank as he watched Tsunades' fingers start to glow in a numbing jutsu as they dug for more shards.

"Well?" She looked in to his eyes, worry and a bit of impatience tinting the flecks of whiskey in the pools of honey.

**_As long as I'm living…_**

"I don't trust the other doctors." It was quiet, the way his words came out, something you never heard from a boy like him. And it had Tsunade completely stuck, frozen in place as she watched his face, studied his eyes.

"I wanted you."

**_My baby you'll be._**

* * *

**I like centering stuff now, it's fun. :)**

**Hope you all can forgive me for being so late, I know I've been late a lot of times with this series, but it's only because my house must be possessed by some electronic spirit that kills every computer in the house and reduces them to plastic mush. I hate it. :(**

**But I love reviews, they make everything better.**

**PEACE :P**


	13. Toads don't Drink

**AN:I decided a change of pace was needed for this chapter, so it's in first person. I like change... :)**

** There was a very good reason I didn't really respond to any of your reviews requesting me to NOT kill Jiraiya, becasue it would be a spoiler. So I left you hanging with that, and teased you last chapter, and now here. Your closure. **

**Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me**

* * *

When two weeks go by with no news, my insides are flopping around like gymnasts. I sit at my desk, rubbing concentric circles on the wood with my finger, I stare out the window, my eyes counting each drop as they fly past me.

The rain, it's an omen.

Nonstop the entirety of my wait, and it's agonizing to lead myself to believe in the sign of death.

No.

No.

No.

I will _not _go there.

So I sit back down and just stare. I've already finished all my paperwork, startling Shizune to no end with my speed and lack of complaints, and now I have the day to myself. But I have no idea what to do with myself.

I can't visit Naruto, I don't want to have to blatantly lie to his face about where Jiraiya's been, because he's been asking and I've been lucky so far with being able to lightly brush it off. But I can't depend on that for much longer.

Besides, he should be back sometime this week.

Hopefully.

"Stop." I pinch my arm, twisting the skin until it sends shingles of pain up and down my arm and shoulder. This is torture, sitting here waiting. I'm listless and devoid of any attention span what so ever because I'm constantly thinking of him.

Is he okay?

He better not be injured.

Did he get lost?

Like a doting wife, Shizune chuckled a few days ago. She told me I reminded her of one of the wives of soldiers off to war, waiting by the window for even the flicker of a shadow his size.

She doesn't know what she's talking about and I dismiss her.

But today, the rain is heavy, it comes down in sheets, heavy like wet wool as it slams down on the roof and blurs my vision through the window. That's one occupation of my time gone, and now my temper is roaring and ready to explode like a landmine. And people have begun to notice, they tread more carefully around me, weary of the landmines.

Who would've thought, with every human imaginable aware of my irritation, that a toad would set me off.

The little plump thing was stuck to my window, barely holding on in the pouring rain.

It took Shizune's hand on my shoulder to realize I was crying, hard rocking sobs as I stared at the little green toad on the window slipping, sliding down the slick glass.

"Lady Tsunade, what's wrong?" I can't stand being rude to her, but I just couldn't talk, I couldn't answer her for the life of me. I stood up quickly, too fast and the outlines of everything got fuzzy as the blood rushed out of my head.

My hands, they were cold and shaky, they knocked piles of papers over and spilt my cup of tea, but then they latched onto the glass, holding it firm like I would die if I let it go.

I opened the window, my hair was instantly soaked, strands of it stuck to my face as the rain moved to my shoulders the further I leaned out. I could faintly hear Shizune hollering something about me catching my death of a cold, but I paid her no mind.

"C'mere." I whispered to the toad as I lightly pulled it off the window and into the glass, blessedly overcoming my natural female fear of the creature and coming back in, shaking my head like a dog and I watched the glistening orbs of water fly from the ends of my hair like diamonds.

I looked down in the glass to see the toad was looking up at me, big black eyes dominating his head as he stared.

"What was that all about? What's in the glass?" Shizune came over, her face in a chastising cast as she came closer. Once she got a look inside the cup, she jumped back in fear, a little eep of a noise escaped from beneath her hand.

"Why do you have a frog?" As girly as she was acting, she still managed to send me a scolding glare.

"It's not a frog."

"What?"

"It's not a frog, it's a toad. Look," I tipped the glass a fraction of a degree so she could see without having to get close.

"Only the toads have those bumps on them, frogs are smooth." Shizune nodded, just not liking the whole situation.

"Whatever…" She acquiesced as she walked away to fetch me a towel she said. I didn't want one; it felt good to have some shiver in me, some beads of rain sitting on top of my hair.

Gently, I put the glass on my desk and sat back in my chair, the initial anxiety of seeing the stranded toad long gone as I undid my pigtails and ran my fingers through my tresses. That felt good, the scratch of my nails on my scalp, a kind of massage for my head with the coolness of the rain soaking in deep to put all the fires out.

I decided to leave my hair down, I hadn't worn it that way in forever and I forgot how nice it felt, the smell of my shampoo easily wafted into my nose.

Looking back at the cup, I saw the toad pop his head out and search his surroundings, big eyes falling on me. I let my chin rest on my arms as I scooted back in my chair, nearly at eye level with the thing and we stared at each other.

His pupils were dilated wide to where they engulfed his iris, turned his whole eye black in terror.

"It's ok." You could call that a bit crazy, but at the moment I really didn't care.

"Please don't start talking to the frog, milady." Shizune came in with a towel, a new frown on her face as she looked me over in my insane state of talking to the toad.

"It's a toad Shizune. And he's scared." I refocused my eyes back on the little thing, determined to calm it down.

"Do you think a little sake would kill it?" Shizune was very quiet after I asked that question, eyes narrowing and brow creased in confusion. She walked over to the desk, draped the towel over my shoulders and planted her hands on her hips with a heavy sigh.

"His tolerance might not be as high as yours, so lets just pass on that." Her hand went for my cup.

"Don't." And then she stopped and pulled her hand back, eyes closed.

"How about I get Izumo and Kotetsu to go find a place for him? I think being back outside will help the little guy." The toad fell back in the cup and I felt a sigh deflate through my chest.

I gave Shizune a nod and starting drying off with the towel, wrapping myself back in my green coat after a chill passed over me.

Shizune picked up the cup and looked down in it for good measure the creature wouldn't pop out at her.

"Uh-oh." I heard her breath, her eyes soft as she stared down, not even realizing she'd said something.

"What?" I stopped drying my hair with the towel and blew damp strands out of my eyes, letting the cloth hang on my head. Shizune's eyes snapped to meet mine in surprise and slight panic I had noticed her slip.

"It's nothing." She's been a horrible liar ever since she was a little girl. And I knew that face all to well, the face of regret and sadness, just not to the degree of normalcy.

"It's dead, isn't it?" She nods.

"It must have had a heart attack." She says soberly and walks out of my office, and still has the decency to hand the cup off to Izumo, telling Kotetsu about a little burial.

And it's the same moment Lord Fukasaku appears before my desk, a heavy-set look of grief on his green face.

"Please, please, please no…" But he goes on with his news anyway, pausing at parts to let my cry.

My big stupid toad had fallen off the window.

And I wasn't there to catch him.

* * *

**Please don't hate me! T3T**

**I thought it would be better to write about in the long-run because angst is always good! *grins nervously***


	14. Arts and Crafts with the Heart

**AN: So as of now, I'm aware that at least five of you are boiling mad at me for going through and killing Jiraiya, but I'll get over it, and so should you cause there's a new chapter. :l**

** Anyway, I really though Kishi did Jiraiya a disservice by not giving the people close to him enough time to grieve, so I expanded it (another reader had a very similar view on this topic, Kyuubi 123 to be exact). So please enjoy, it's a sad one, but I think I'll have some happy ideas later on. **

**Disclaimer: not mine, nothing!**

* * *

Almost instantly his face turned to blank stone, emotionless and cold like his features had been rubbed away smooth with a sander. He stood with his shoulders slumped and knees shaking almost invisibly.

"What?" His chin bobbed as he spoke, trembling and stumbling over every letter.

"He's gone." And she wasn't doing much better. She was lucky, she had her hands propped up on her desk in front of her face, she could hide her mouth; keep the quivering out of sight. Her eyes, as pretty as they were, had become blank and lackluster, almost like they weren't alive anymore. Her age started to show in that split second Shizune was watching.

The assistant stood near her, eyes careful as they watched the Hokage's body, kept track of the miniscule tremors that engulfed her tiny frame every now and then, when her resilience was waning.

Shizune was suddenly overcome with this urge to push Sakura and Kakashi and Sai and that toad out of the room and lock the door so the two blondes could be alone. That and she didn't really want to see the both of them break down, especially Naruto. That would be a very hard thing to witness and she didn't think she'd be able to keep herself together if she did.

But that was her duty, to stand beside Lady Tsunade no matter what.

Even through this hell.

"And you let him go?" Tsunade lowered her head, inconspicuously wiping her eye.

"Yes." That was when Naruto's face turned angry; his bright blue eyes went wide in rage.

"So you let him kill himself? _How could you_?" He was screaming now, not even caring if he was crying or not because he was pacing before Tsunade's desk like a hungry lion, eyes cold as they focused on her.

"_Why couldn't you have gone_?" Naruto pointed his finger at her, breath heavy and brow knitted in absolute rage. Tsunade raised her head to meet his eyes, lips moving and words trying to form but nothing came out. Her eyes burst and a look of absolute pleading washed over her face.

"Oh that's right, I forgot. You have a village to run." The boy basically snarled it as he turned to leave, furiously throwing the door open.

"_I hate you!_" If he had really tried, he could have rocked the door from it's hinges with the sheer amount of force he put into slamming the office door, leaving everyone slack jawed.

The exception being Tsunade.

Sakura turned to go after him, stopping when her name was called.

"Let him go. He needs to be alone." Tsunade's voice was strained as she spoke, the kind of strain that happens when you're trying to hold back tears, they were pooling in the corners of her eyes as she stared absently at the door.

Shizune recognized that look immediately; she had lived with her when it was the only thing that crossed her mistress's face.

Devastation.

Suddenly and slowly, like it hurt to move, she pushed herself up and out of her chair.

"Where are you going, milady?" Shizune asked quietly, black eyes full of concern as they followed her mistress and her green coat to the door.

"To let him yell at me." Her hand turned the knob of her door.

"But you said to let him be. Why are you-?" Sakura stopped talking when Tsunade opened the door, feeling something like finality fall on her little pink head. She was being ignored, and it came to her when the door closed.

Sakura turned to Shizune, eyes still loaded with the same look of wanting. The brunette waited a good minute before so much as blinked before choosing to speak.

"She's punishing herself." Sakura looked confused, brow knit in the emotion.

"Lady Tsunade and Naruto are more alike than you think, they get angry the same way. They need someone to take it out on or else it'll keep boiling until they just explode. She's punishing herself and helping Naruto. Confusing as it sounds." Shizune finished with a sigh and straightened some papers on the big mahogany desk and putting a cap back on a pen.

"Their way of coping, Sakura. It has something to do with guilt factors and remorse, like my book said. Although it would be irresponsible to compare real life to a book-!"

"Sai." Kakashi put his hand on the pale boy's shoulder, and gave him a small smile under his mask.

"Sorry." Sai shrunk back, eyes watching Sakura as she hesitated near the door.

"What he means, Sakura," Kakashi began softly as he lead his team out of the office and into the hallway.

"Is that sometimes people need anger to get past their grief."

* * *

"_Naruto!" _Tsunade's fist came down on his door, nagging and knocking as loud as she could. She knew he was in there, every cell in her body had pointed her to his doorstep, call it what you will, a lucky guess, a gut feeling.

It was maternal instinct.

"Honey, please. Let me in, we should talk." Tsunade pleaded from the other side of the door while Naruto sat slumped against the inside. He sat there listening to her plead; felt the vibrations from her fists quiver in his back and skull. Her silky voice cut through the wood of his door and melted in his ears, flipping switches in him that sent the tears racing down his cheeks.

"_Naruto Uzumaki, I will break down this door! Answer me, dammit!" _Her fists kept raining down on the door, louder and harder like she was making good her threat. Her voice sounded hard and pained, like it hurt her to speak.

And then it stopped.

Just as suddenly as it had started and he felt a little empty now that she had given up on him, he couldn't even feel her presence anymore. So he sat there in silence and counted the ticking of his clock, counted each wasted second until a new sound filled his ears.

Naruto didn't have to look up to know what it was.

Tsunade had scaled the wall and picked the lock on his window, sliding in with the grace of a ghost.

"Naruto-," She ducked a scroll at her head and caught the shoe he had ripped off his own foot.

"_Just go away!" _He screamed, tears running down his face and his arm in position to throw something at a moment's notice. But Tsunade pressed on, taking a few more cautious steps and dodging his next projectile: a box of instant ramen.

"Please stop throwing things at me."

"_No! Not until you leave!"_

"_Or until you run out of things to throw!" _Tsunade hollered back and took two more steps, honey eyes turned dark whiskey as they centered on the tear streaked face of Naruto, held his cerulean eyes in hers and watched, waited.

With each step closer, he seemed to deflate and give up, and with each step closer, Tsunade could feel his cloud of pain and anguish erecting a barrier around him, shielding her out.

"Naruto," Her voice was soft like a whisper, serenading him and breaking down his wall until she was able to get down on her knees before him, at eye level, and waited for him.

To move.

To yell.

To cry.

To hit her like a small child.

She waited for him to react.

She caught him as he fell into her arms, face buried in her shoulder as his entire body was engulfed in backbreaking sobs. His self entirely was crumbling, pieces of him were crackling down onto his floor, and it looked like nothing other than her arms could keep him together.

They didn't say a word, he couldn't form any and she wouldn't dare open her mouth. He needed this, he needed someone he could be himself around, he needed someone who wasn't afraid of the face behind the smile.

He needed someone who knew his pain.

"I know it hurts," She cried in to his hair, smoothing some of his bangs away from his sweaty forehead as she slowly started to rock, the both of them swaying lightly back and forth.

"And I know how you just want to set the world on fire because of it." Naruto's sobbing had started to dwindle into hiccups and angry moans, and what remained of his tears was wiped away by Tsunade's soft thumbs.

"He wanted to keep you safe, that's why he went. For you, for me, for the entire village. He's a hero."

Naruto sucked up his congestion and looked up at his blonde baa-chan with weary eyes.

"I didn't mean what I said to you earlier. I don't hate you."

"I know that, I'm not dumb. You were angry, I understand. I've hurt people doing what you did many times." A tinge of chagrin settled in between the syllables. Tsunade looked down on Naruto: his eyes were puffy, his bottom lip was upturned in a puppy dog pout only he could pull off at his age, and he was looking at her.

"It's ok to be angry, people would think you're crazy if you _weren't _angry." Tsunade let out a light laugh, shifting the teenager in her arms until he was sitting up again.

"You don't have to be angry alone, Naruto. You have an entire family you can go to. You have me, Sakura, Kakashi, Shizune, that Sai kid." She cupped his face with her hands and held him so he could look at her, so he could watch the words come from her mouth, to see that they were real.

They sat there looking into each other's eyes for the longest time, a thousand truths spilling from one iris to another.

Then he broke again, closing his eyes and falling back into her as more tears fell from his eyes, more pain welled up inside him and reality set in.

"He's g-gone." Naruto sobbed into the nape of Tsunade's neck like internal dams had finally suffered through the last crack and just burst, letting loose a whirlwind of emotion.

And she would be there to catch him when he fell, her hands would hold him, put him back together and pick him back up. Just as Jiraiya would be the wind moving the trees, the little sparks that flew off of connecting kunai, the steam coming off the ramen.

He would be the glue that held them both together.

And they would hold.

* * *

**Woe is me, writing these angsty pieces of drama, I should be on Broadway! :O ****Naw, probably not, I don't even like plays...but I digress.**

**How was it? Was it believable or a bit too OOC for the both of them? Please let me know so I can improve for next chapter.**

**PEACE :P**


	15. Mommy's Special Treat

**AN: This has to be one of my favorite chapters so far, I fell in love with it while I was writing it. =3= **

**Hope you guys do to. **

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I still haven't managed to seize control of the Naruto franchise. **

* * *

In the early morning, my shadow stretched long across the dirt of the village road, all thin and black.

I waved my arms around and watched the thin spindly strands wiggled around on the dirt, totally disfigured and awesome. Then I stuck my leg out and rotated my foot, watching the shadow turn from a thin line to a black blob.

"Lad, what're ya' doin?" I froze and stood straight at the sound of geezer-sage's voice.

"Nuthin."

"You'll have to excuse his, umm, idiocy, Fukasaku-sama." Baa-chan bowed with a blush, pulling me down with her.

Geezer-sage let out a torrent of croaks and laughter, wiping away a small tear when he saw the embarrassed blush on Tsunade's face.

"Ya' haven't changed a bit, hime." We both rose and I rubbed the back of my head, throwing my pack on and heading over to the sage's ride.

A toad riding a toad, it had to be one of the stupidest things I'd ever seen.

"Naruto wait." I stopped and turned around to look at baa-chan, she looked a little worried. She's been looking like that a lot lately, and always around me like she's waiting for me to explode.

"I want you to do well and be safe, and listen to Fukasaku-sama. I don't want you coming back looking like a toad." I laughed a bit and she smiled.

There, that was better than that worried face.

"Please, please, please be careful. Don't over-do it, Naruto, I know how you get. And eat right; I took the liberty of taking out all the instant ramen you had packed yourself. You keep eating that garbage all the time and you'll die." I was simply outraged at the fact she had called my nectar of the gods _garbage._ It was such an ugly word, it shouldn't be anywhere near the word ramen.

"Then what am I gonna eat?"

"Oh don't cha' be worryin' about that, lad. Ma cooks up somethin' good every night." Geezer-sage winked.

"You'll be fine then, Naruto." Baa-chan smiled again and patted my cheek. I think it took me this long to really realize how pretty her smile was, because I never really took the time to look. But now that I was looking, it was really beautiful; she was really beautiful.

And then she hugged me.

Her arms wrapped around my shoulders and she set her chin in the nape of my neck. I wrapped my arms around her, tight like if I didn't hold on strong enough someone would take her away. The skin of her cheek was smooth and cool on mine, and her hair smelled so good, like lavender, and it was so soft against my forehead.

Just standing there in her arms made me not want to leave.

The world didn't matter here.

She started pulling away.

"Please no." I whispered in her ear and help onto her longer, wanting to just float here for a few more precious seconds. I felt her smile against my cheek and she patted my back, slipping away and cupping my face.

"You're gonna be okay. We'll be waiting for your glorious return." She laughed with that smile again. Now it was starting to hurt to know I was leaving that smile, leaving the safety and bliss of her arms.

My whole body started feeling heavy when geezer-sage started calling for me.

"We outta get going now, lad." I took a step backwards, then another and another. But I went slowly, to somehow fool my brain that I wasn't actually moving. But my stupid eyes watched as I lightly bobbed up and down with each step, how baa-chan's hand moved to cover her mouth as I got farther and farther away.

It looked like she was going to cry.

The she did something strange; something I really never saw her do.

She bowed.

Deeply.

"Please watch over him for me, Fukasaku-sama. He's all I have left." I felt my heart skip a little at her words, and I didn't even notice I was staring at her bent-over form.

Her head stayed lowered until geezer-sage cleared his throat.

"You have my word, Tsunade-chan. I'll bring him back to ya' in one piece."

Now it felt like there were roots coming out from the ground and wrapping around my ankles, because I couldn't take those last few steps towards geezer-sage. I wanted so desperately to go forward, to sprint back over to her and stay by her side.

"Thank you, sir."

"Bye baa-chan!" I waved and smiled, a new feeling of determination swelling inside me when I looked into her eyes. I was, as much as I didn't want to at the moment, going to do this. I was going to become the strongest sage there had ever been, I'd surpass Pervy Sage and I'd kick Akatsuki ass.

And I'd keep my baa-chan safe no matter what.

"Bye Naruto." I watched her lips move, but I didn't hear her words.

With a sudden clap of his hands, geezer-sage and I were gone in a poof of smoke.

The next thing I knew, I landed so hard on my ass that the wind was knocked from me and my sight got all fuzzy.

"C'mon, lad! We gotta get cha' situated and fed." He said some other stuff too, but I didn't hear him. I looked around slowly, taking in every freaky color that was around me.

This place was weird and strange, so different from Konoha.

Great, I was already homesick.

* * *

How could they call what I just ate food? It was bugs and grubs and…other stuff I can't even name. And I ate it! I'm still nauseous and dinner was nearly four hours ago.

But now I was sitting on this weird tree or plant, I don't know what the hell it is, just watching the sky.

My stomach made this horrible growling sound, nearly screaming that it was empty. I had thrown up everything I'd eaten so fast I guess my body didn't have time to absorb anything.

So I started digging through my pack, praying that baa-chan had missed at least one pack of ramen when I found them.

Every single pack I had packed was sitting there, angelically staring up at me.

On top of the stack was a folded up piece of paper with my name on it in baa-chan's nice handwriting. I opened it hungrily and read as every word flowed from the paper.

_Dear Naruto,_

_No, I didn't take your ramen away because I know that you'd die if you went longer than two days without it. But I did pack you something special so I wouldn't feel guilty about letting you keep the ramen. And I know Lady Shima's cooking isn't exactly the best for humans, Jiraiya had the worst food poisoning after he went there the first time around._

_I know these past few weeks have been some of the hardest of your life, it hasn't been pleasant for me either, but what comforted me was knowing that this loss left me with something to cherish, something to love and nurture with my own hands. _

_That's you, Naruto._

_When we first met, you were this whiney little squirt with a mouth too big for your face, and I remember Jiraiya had to hold you back from jumping me. But it's because of him that we came together, and I wasn't able to thank him enough for that._

_I used to be this crotchety old lady who hated the world, and I was planning on staying like that until the day I died. But then you came along and had to ruin it._

_When I mean this loss left me with something, it left me with you. Jiraiya and I shared you, hell, sometimes we fought over you. And now you're all mine. And that meant you'd need me more, that you'd need me to be there for you when you usually went to Jiraiya. So I picked you up when you fell and put you back together, and you did the same for me._

_Naruto, this is kind of a thank you note. And it's kind of a motivational thing, so take it as both. I want you to be the best man you can be, even though I may not like you going to some remote and densely vegetated mountain in the middle of kami knows where, I have the highest faith in you. I've always been you're biggest fan and I always know that you'll accomplish whatever you set your mind to. _

_If you want to be anything like me, you keep that stubborn head high and just tell any naysayers to piss off. It's gotten me pretty far and I know it'll work wonders for you._

_You're like the child I never had, Naruto, and I want you to know I love you. You're my ball of sunshine and I want the absolute best for you. So you come back to me, in one piece please, and you show everyone what I know you can do._

_Good luck, be safe, and please don't eat all the ramen at once._

_Love, Baa-chan_

I didn't realize I was crying until a tear fell onto the letter.

I wiped my eyes and pulled out one carton of ramen, and then I held it up to the moonlight.

It was beautiful.

Remembering her note, I resumed my digging to find the special something she'd packed.

I found the bento box under the last few packs of ramen, it was an awesome orange with little blue spirals splashing across the front and my name on a piece of tape. I carefully lifted open the lid and chuckled at the contents.

Baa-chan had made me onigiri shaped like stars and one looked like my face; it even had the whisker marks. Next to the few of the star-shaped treats was a ball of natto wrapped in plastic; it smelled divine. She also packed me a box of super chocolaty Pocky sticks. They looked like pretzels, that's how big they were, and they were drizzled in chocolate.

I put the ramen back in my bag, deciding on saving for later as I adjusted the bento box in my lap and picked up an onigiri, the one shaped like my face. I chuckled before I took a bite and melted when the contents spilled into my mouth. Spicy chicken and shrimp. I picked up the natto and unwrapped it. It was still a little warm as I tore a gooey piece away from the sticky mass.

It was so good.

I didn't know baa-chan could cook, but if this was any indication of her skill, I'd run back home on my hands just to have more.

As I sat there on the strange blue leaf of what I presumed was a plant, I watched as a few shooting stars blazed through the night sky. I wondered if this was what it was like to have a mother.

Picking up the box of Pocky, I stuck a stick in my mouth and folded my arms behind my head grinning.

Yeah, I'd put money on it.

"Thanks baa-chan."

* * *

**You're hungry now, aren't you?**

** I'm starving, I want some onigiri! ^3^ **

**I cried a little when I was writing this because I was picturing all of this in my head and it was so cute, this is definitely one of my absolute fav chapters.**

**How was it anyway? Did the first person POV match with Naruto's personality? Please let me know so I can improve if there needs to be improvement.**

**PEACE :P**


	16. A Shared Meal

**AN: This is just a little filler chapter for you guys, the action comes next chapter. So please enjoy and tell me if you're getting tired of the food thing I've got going. :)**

**Disclaimer: thou shalt not think a measly peasant owns Naruto.**

* * *

Focus.

_Breathe evenly._

Statuesque.

_Don't move a muscle._

Still.

_Keep your body and mind in rhythm._

Naruto tumbled anyway.

"I can't stay still, geezer-sage, I'm too high!" The blonde teen whined, daring to take a glance downwards where his platform had crashed moments ago. He now dangled from Lord Fukasaku's tongue, his legs wagging in the empty air.

The old toad sighed, rubbing his face in frustration.

"Lad, ya' burped. That's what threw ya' off balance." Naruto's face turned red and his lip turned up in a pout.

"Let's take a break."

* * *

"Are you feeling alright, milady?" Shizune stuck her head in the Hokage's office, dark eyes washing over the desk of completed paperwork and signed mission reports in confusion.

"I'm fine Shizune, how are you?" Tsunade was more than attentive, with her hands crossed and holding her chin, she was able to set her honey orbs on her faithful assistant with a thoughtful stare.

"Fine, thank you." The woman stammered and walked in, a clipboard in hand and eyes still situated on the large stack of papers.

"What's that you have there?" Tsunade cocked her head like an interested puppy, zeroing in on Shizune's clipboard. With a little bit of a start, the raven-haired woman pulled it away from her breast and handed it to the Hokage.

"The semi-final autopsy reports on the body of Pein, milady." Shizune answered timidly and watched her mistress eat the report hungrily, fingers flipping through the papers and eyes sucking in the information like a black hole.

"So it was a dead body to begin with? That's impossible." She fingered through the report once more, bringing it closer to her face.

"Maybe some kind of ventriloquism jutsu, but Fukasaku-sama said there were six of them. That's unheard of for a person to control that many puppets, let alone complex bodies such as a once living people."

"Sakura is getting to removing those black rods from the corpse and we'll be analyzing them soon, with a report ready by the end of today." The Hokage nodded and handed the clipboard back, eyes not meeting Shizune's as the blonde sat in thought.

"That is quite strange, Shizune. Quite strange…"

* * *

"Order up, boyo! Ma' famous grub and cricket stew. Enjoy!" Naruto was blanching steadily at the sound of Lady Shima's cheery voice, and when his bowl was placed in front of him (the contents still moving have you), his usual tan paled to a down right green.

"Thanks, Shima-chan." The poor boy managed to stutter out, hand quivering over his chopsticks as he watched his dinner _squirm_.

He had to get out of this; he had to escape from this nightmare. But he didn't want to be rude; the stories Fukasaku-sama told him about his wife's wrath was enough to keep the teen to placate the toad woman.

"I forgot to wash up, please excuse me."

"Sure thing, Naruto-chan." Fukasaku-sama chirped with his mouth full of croaking crickets, crunching like potato chips in his mouth.

"Thanks." And then he dashed off outside the hut. Once he was out in the open, Naruto took a deep lungful of fresh, humid air. His nausea slowly but surely dissipated and he felt the blood come back to his face, even his cheeks felt warmer.

He stretched his back and looked up at the sky like he had done the night before, wondering if there'd be a shooting star tonight.

But then the smell crept back into his nostrils, scratching at his attuned sense and once again draining the color from his face.

Like a light bulb had gone off over his head, the gennin crossed his fingers and made a clone, whispering in its ear and pointing towards the hut. The clone, knowing full well what the original had planned, shot his original an angry glare before storming off towards the hut, turning around once to flick Naruto off.

"He'll live." The original laughed and crept up the side of the hut to where he slept. Creeping in through the square hole in the wall, Naruto fetched for his pack and strapped it to his body, then descended the stalk of some other strange plant and hopped off.

* * *

"Have you eaten, milady? You look a little fatigued." Shizune asked as she walked in to the Hokage's office with a tray of food in her hands. Tsunade snapped her head up immediately when her nose picked up the scent of her favorite lunch food: onigiri and miso ramen.

"Oh Shizune, you are an angel! Thank you," her eyes sparkled as her assistant laid the tray down before the hungry Hokage, a small smile on her face as she watched the grown woman dig in to her lunch like a child.

"You know you're the best right?" Tsunade smiled as she took another bite of her onigiri.

"Yes milady, I do." Shizune laughed as she left the office, closing the door for Tsunade's privacy.

Tsunade hummed in delight, finishing her first rice ball and going for her ramen, chopsticks raised and at the ready. The steam that rose from the small bowl was intoxicating as it carried the scent of the rich broth in to her nose.

"I hope that dummy found his ramen." The blonde giggled at the mental image of her boy holding his head in his hands in complete distress over missing his most important meals of the day.

* * *

He thought himself some kind of tactical genius for packing his mini kettle, because the rich smell of his ramen wafting in to his nose was heavenly to say the least.

"Yes my precious, cook, cook!" The other reason for his mindset of genius was that he was far enough away from the hut that nobody could smell him or his divine meal.

He finished pouring the last droplets of hot water in to his bowl and watched anxiously as the noodles broke apart and softened, absorbing the broth like sponges. While he waited, he poked back in to his pack and fished out his bento box, opening the colorful container and grabbing an onigiri shaped like his face. The likeness made him laugh, the thing had spikes for hair and little whisker marks on the cheeks, and even a doofy little grin.

He never pegged Tsunade for a good cook, but biting into his face, he knew she was good. Naruto tore through his face hungrily, licking his fingers once he was done and opening the lid of his ramen to start on that piece of heaven.

Unconsciously, he started swirling his cup around a little, swishing the liquid all over and in to the nooks it might have missed unassisted. When he looked down at it, it entranced him, the simple spiral shape engrossed his every bone and he studied it.

"Like the Rasen-Shuriken…" he mumbled and watched as the torrent died down in to the calm he was waiting for. The idea of his specialty move being altered in that way - he'd have to eat before he tried anything.

* * *

**Of course, you can't be a bad ass ninja without scarfing down your life source! ;P**

**PEACE :P**


	17. Something like a legacy, right?

**AN: So here we are, where everything starts moving! :) **

**I'm excited for the upcoming events that I get to right about, makes me smile.**

** Let me shut up so you guys can read! **

**Disclaimer: Gosh, if I were a ghost, I'd haunt the people who thought I owned anything more expensive than a Playstation 2. :W**

* * *

At first, Tsunade would chalk it up to some arthritis nagging her joints. Inside her knuckles and the joints of her fingers and wrists, it was throbbing and tingling like she had just punched a wall. It wasn't an uncommon feeling for her, she had, for the majority of her life as a ninja, punched solid earth and other very dense objects.

But this was different.

It became numb after the tingling; she could barely hold the pen in her hand steady.

She was just a little tired, yeah, tired. That's what Shizune said.

But Tsunade wasn't so sure.

She wasn't hypertensive. She was in perfect health. So what could it be?

"I'm just old, dammit." Tsunade grumbled as she dropped her pen and started massaging her hand, rubbing deep into the meat of her palm to ease the bundles of nerves firing off inside.

She leaned back in her chair and cast a sideways glance outside her wall of windows.

It was a gorgeous day, not a cloud in the sky and the bright yellow sun was beating down on the pavement of the village.

And she was stuck inside.

The Hokage gave a huff and ran a hand through her tresses of golden hair, twiddling the ends out of sheer fascination with the strands. Out of a family of dominant brunettes, with her mother being the only fair haired of the bunch, she ended up being the oddity of the Senju. A baby with hair so fair it was white as snow at once, curly and soft.

Her thoughts turned from her hair to her mother, long dead and buried over in the Senju compound with fresh flowers on her grave every birthday and holiday.

The woman who treated Tsunade like she was the most important thing in the world, who put her on a pedestal higher than any skyscraper. Her long blonde hair was always a thing of wonder to Tsunade; she'd play with it and use it as a mustache, her mother doing the same. And hours would pass just like that with the two of them acting like fools without a care in the world.

'_Be careful, Tsunade!' _she would call out as Tsunade left for a mission, a baby Nawaki in her arms waving his pudgy appendages around after his big sister.

'_This is why we don't hold kunai in our mouths.' _she'd scold lightly as she cleaned the cut on her mouth with a worried smile.

'_So when do I get grandkids, sweetie?'_

Tsunade had to laugh a little at the last memory, running her hands down her face slowly.

"Sorry about that, mom." She sighed to herself and looked back out the window, eyeing the stream running through the middle of the village.

Her mother's eyes were the deep blue of the ocean with flecks of green and gold swimming in those aqua pools. Tsunade could look into those eyes for hours on end and never get bored. But they lost their enthralling vibrancy after Nawaki died.

'_He was nothing like you. Sarutobi thought too much of him.' _She was so angry when she spoke, and Tsunade remembers how tightly she balled her fists to where her knuckles were white and shaking.

'_You promise me…if you ever have children, your protect them with your life, Tsunade.'_

'_You make sure that they're the first people in your heart.'_

'_You make sure you never let them walk into danger, that you walk in front of them and keep them safe.'_

'_You make sure they know you love them.'_

The tingling in her hands became an overwhelming throbbing, aching and swelling in her joints as she tried holding her head in her hands.

She never asked about grandkids ever again.

That's when her whole body went numb, like her brain flipped a switch and shut everything down.

Nothing moved.

She couldn't feel herself breathing.

But she sat there in her chair, a lump on a log and nothing more.

"Milady!" An aid burst into the room, eyes frantic and face worried. The Hokage was immediately alert, numbing appendages slow to revive themselves as her head snapped up to meet the aid.

"Intruders at the West gate, sector 1-B. Our field sensors only felt one, but we're getting reports of multiple attacks and more than one intruder." The aid was visibly trembling, the poor girl barely older than Naruto.

This was probably her first attack.

Tsunade shot up out of her chair and looked out her wall of windows, she didn't even hear anything.

Then suddenly, rockets shot through the air, streaming themselves into buildings and exploding. Violent black clouds rose in seconds, fires blazed and sent the buildings tumbling to the ground.

* * *

"Atta boy, Naruto-chan. Yer' Kawazu Kumite has quite the kick, lad!" Fukasaku croaked in midair as he watched Naruto, in full sage mode, cross his fingers and make a clone.

"That's just a warm-up, geezer-sage!" The blonde teen lunged forward, fist ready for the old toad.

* * *

ANBU captains and jounin swarmed her office, all crouched and awaiting orders. Tsunade stared out her wall of windows, whiskey eyes following the plumes of thick black smoke as they rose higher and higher in to the air.

Her greatest fears had finally come to fruition as another rocket went off and exploded into another building.

"S-sound the state of emergency alarm." One jounin speed off to do such.

"And," she hesitated with her last words, not really wanting to say them.

'_You make sure you never let them walk in to danger, that you clear the path for them first.'_

The 'arthritis' started acting up again, more vicious and violent than ever. She literally had to ball her fists to keep them from shaking.

Fear consumed her, not for herself, fear for her home. The villagers, the many women and children cowering in fear of the quaking explosions, men throwing themselves on their families to shield them from harm. The children screaming for their parents, shaking dead bodies to _wake them up_.

Fear for Naruto.

'_Promise me…you'll keep your child safe from any danger, protect them with your life!'_

"Dammit, mom." Tsunade growled to herself and closed her eyes, planting her hands firmly on her hips.

"Recall Naruto." She managed to ground out. As tentative as she was it had to be done.

A frog hopped up onto her desk, hands together, ready to fly.

"No, leave him at the mountain." Koharu sounded as her and Homaru shuffled in. Tsunade looked at them, eyes wild in anger as the two elders took their places in the office.

"According to the intel, our attacker is Pein, the same person who seeks Naruto."

"He's staying at the mountain, Tsunade." Homaru finished, pushing his glasses up as he watched the Senju heiress carefully.

"What? You can't leave him there; Naruto can provide valuable military strength! He's being recalled." She turned back to the messenger toad, nodding in approval.

"And you call yourself Hokage. I thought you cared about the boy, Tsunade." Koharu spat, wrinkles furrowing and folding into creases of anger.

"And yet here you are letting him walk right in to the hands of the people who desire him most." Homaru grumbled, not even noticing the sannin storming up to the two, anger rolling off her in waves.

Her strong hands grabbed them by the collars of their robes, lifting them off the ground and looking right in to her boiling eyes.

"I care deeply for Naruto, he's like the child I never had." Tsunade growled as her grip tightened on the counselors, raising them higher off the ground.

"He's also the supposed Child of Prophecy, the same child Jiraiya devoted his life to teaching and protecting. I will stand by his side and fight with him, even if it costs me my life, because I have absolute faith in him!"

"I am your Hokage! If I am willing to die for this child than you should as well! Now _he __**is **_being recalled and I really don't care what you have to say about it!" Tsunade threw them down, uncurling her fingers from her palms and feeling an overwhelming wave of liberation sweep over her.

The two old counselors made their rickety way back to their feet and swept themselves off before turning to leave.

"Do as you please, dear." Koharu called back as she left with her male counterpart, not even glancing back.

Still boiling, the Hokage turned back to face the messenger toad, opening her mouth to speak when Shizune rushed in, a black rod in her hand.

"Tsunade-sama, the test results are back!" The brunette hurried in, holding the black rod in her fingers carefully.

"Well? What did you find?" Tsunade grumbled and crossed her arms over her ample chest.

"These black rods inserted in the corpses are chakra receivers that make them move. It also lends them chakra to allow them to perform jutsu."

Tsunade nodded, locking eyes with her assistant.

"And they're receiving chakra right now."

"So the bodies attacking us are corpses being manipulated by a puppeteer. Get over to the interrogation corps and let Inoichi know. ANBU cell B, escort Shizune and protect the interrogation corps." The Hokage turned and started walking out the door.

"I'll be on the roof healing the injured through Katsuyu, any reports will be directed there. _Move out!" _Every ninja in the room raced after their Hokage who dashed for the roof.

The messenger toad clapped his hands together, just about to run off, when a blade came down on his head, killing him.

Danzo stood behind the dead toad, pulling out his blade and flinging it to get the blood off. He cast a beady black eye down on the body, inwardly patting himself on the back.

"Now nine-tails can be kept caged up."

* * *

"Waaah!" A pink frog cried as he stared at a scroll on a wall. Fukasaku and Naruto sat at the table, staring at the poor pink thing in wonder.

"What is it, kiddo?" Fukasaku called out as he finished sipping his tea.

The pink toad sniffled and wiped his nose, looking up at his elder.

"B-big brother's name disappeared from the summoning scroll." He squeaked and wiped his eyes.

"What does that mean? Naruto asked, befuddled. Fukasaku walked over to the crying toad and patted his back.

"It means he's gone, Naruto-chan." The blonde's eyes widened and he stood up, a bit too fast because he smacked his head on the lamp hanging above the table.

"Does that mean something bad happened back home?" Naruto asked feverishly, kneeling down to meet eyes with the toad sage.

"Possibly. Ma went Konoha way to procure up some goods, so get yerself' ready, she could summon us soon."

"Roger!"

* * *

The end of Pein's black coat flapped as he landed on the roof of the Hokage tower, powerful eyes trained on the kanji stitched in her green coat.

"Behind you! Six nose piercings and seven ear studs, that's him!" One ANBU called out and unsheathed his sword. Tsunade got up slowly, turning just as slowly, and glared at the zombie man.

"You…"

"Long time no see, Tsunade Senju. You and I must speak."

"You're one of the kids Jiraiya watched over…Yahiko?"

"You remember." The Hokage's ANBU inched forward, hands ready at their swords. Pein took one step closer, keeping his eyes locked with Tsunade's.

"Where is nine-tails?" His voice was deep and void of any emotion, eyes cold and hard in their ripple pattern.

"Naruto," Tsunade started, vindictive as she spoke. "Is nowhere to be found."

"I highly doubt that, Lady Hokage. Just hand him over."

"I will not."

"It's meaningless to hold onto the beast, conflicts will break out over the issue of power balance, and when those wars do break out, we will be the ones on top. If you cooperate with us, we would not be averse to helping you. I believe this little display has given you a glimpse of our power." Pein finished, face void along with his voice.

Inside, Tsunade was boiling, her ANBU were becoming tense from the amount of chakra welling up in her.

"_Do not mock us five shadows! _You cannot bully us into folding; you cannot bully _me _into folding. I will not allow you terrorists to trample the peace and stability my predecessors obtained and have strived to maintain until now!"

"You are arrogant." The orange-haired man growled, focusing his eyes on the buxom Hokage.

"Your _peace _brought violence upon us."

"I can't agree with everything Konoha has done in the past, but it wasn't my job back then. It is now, and I will** not **be a party to your insanity." Tsunade decided not to stomp her foot in fear of collapsing the roof.

"You should watch your wording, Lady Hokage. This is your final warning from a god. Where is nine-tails-?"

"God my ass! This village will hold you back as long as possible; I will take you on myself to give Naruto a chance against you! And you are wrong about one big thing." Tsunade stopped and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as Pein waited.

"What you desire most you shall never have."

"If you think your shinobi could possibly keep me from taking-."

"No." Tsunade interrupted, voice firm and confident.

'_You make sure you never lose faith in them.'_

"Naruto is stronger than you know!"

* * *

**DUHN-DUHN-DUHN! Do you guys like the incorporation of Tsunade's mom? I thought it was cool, a bit of a change from the mundane scribbles I usually have. :)**

**PEACE :P**


	18. Me and You vs Them

**AN: Rereading the manga for help with these past few chapters has opened my eyes to all the bull Kishimoto imagined. **

**And it's even worse recently, have you guys read the latest chapters?**

** A mini RasenShuriken on the tip of his finger... and then there's that move where he uses his fluorescent arms to make this jump rope of more Rasengans. **

**I was not too happy, Naruto's is getting hilariously powerful, I just thought I'd share that with you guys.**

**I'm not liking the things I used to as much anymore. Damn, that means I'm turning in to a cynical asshole...oh well.**

* * *

"So you will willingly let the people of your village die for the sake of one child. How courageous of you."

"No. I will keep my people safe with every ounce of my strength, you will not hurt us anymore." Tsunade barked, stomping her foot and meeting the rippled eyes of Pein.

"We are not afraid of you."

Yahiko lowered his head and closed his eyes, the bottom half of his face sinking into the high collar of his cloak.

* * *

"So these rods are chakra receivers?" Ino asked, eyeing the black cylinder in Shizune's hand.

"Yes, and the main body can't be too far away. The bodies attacking are all puppets-!" A flash bomb flew in and landed in the center of the semi circle the Cypher corps had formed, with a thin man landing in the middle.

The bomb went off, blinding the ANBU and sending the others flying. Tumbling and rolling, Ino fell in to her father's hands, coughing the smoke from her lungs.

"No one move or she dies." The Pein announced flatly, his hand on Shizune's head as the terrified woman shook on her knees.

"Shizune-san!"

* * *

"Mount Myobuku…nine tails is there." Yahiko mumbled, snapping open his eyes and piercing Tsunade where she stood shocked with eyes wide.

"I will linger no longer." He turned, his coat flapping as he spun, and leaped from the roof.

"No!" The Hokage roared and sped off after him, ANBU not far behind.

Yahiko swept through the nearby apartment complexes, leaping from wall face to wall face. Tsunade was hot on his heels, one of her ANBU making her right flank.

"Gimme' that," her hand latched on to the sword holstered on the ANBU's back and tore it out, twirling it a few times before she flew forward.

The arch of her swing was wide and fast as it came closer and closer to Yahiko's neck. Quickly, a black rod appeared from under his sleeve and Yahiko was able to block the sword, only to be thrown to the ground from the amount of power packed in to the swing.

He crashed to the ground, sending pieces of the cement flying and dust billowing. Tsunade landed right next to his crater, leaning down and picking him up.

"Don't run from me." She snarled, eyes fiery as they bore in to Yahiko's.

With a bit of a grunt, he initiated his jutsu, pushing Tsunade away.

But she barely moved.

"So my ability has become known," glancing down to the busty blonde's feet, Yahiko saw the chakra she was emitting from her feet, allowing her to withstand his propulsion jutsu.

Not amused, Tsunade brought the sword down on him with an over hand swing, using all her momentum and power to break the black rod he was using to protect himself. The tip of the sword landed millimeters away from his cheek and dug in to the clay below.

"I don't negotiate with terrorists." Then down came her fist, making contact with his face.

Yahiko's body deepened itself in the crater, with more debris coming up and the dust creating a shroud around the Hokage.

Looking at it, all you could see was her silhouette, shoulders tense and back straight.

Then she went flying, flipping in the air and sticking to a nearby overpass, hanging upside down and looking back at the crater.

"Lady Hokage! Are you alright?"

"Fine, keep an eye on him!"

They all drew their swords, faces trained on the man-shaped crater.

Slowly, Yahiko rose from the rubble, pieces of earth falling from his frame and dust falling all around him. He raised his menacing eyes to meet Tsunade's brown, uncharacteristic anger flowing from them.

"Come on." Tsunade goaded with a sneer.

He flew at her faster than Lee when he opened his gates, and she charged at him like a vicious rhino.

They met in the middle, a sickening screeching sound echoing through the alley when his black cylinder met the kunai she had picked up. Sparks flew from both pieces as the kunai shaved layers off the stick.

Then they broke apart, Tsunade landing where Yahiko once stood and Yahiko sticking to the wall opposite.

"You surprise me, Hokage." Yahiko voiced flatly, eyes once again finding the Hokage. Her ANBU had surrounded her in a defensive enclosure, but she clearly didn't need them.

"How?"

"You actually care for your Jinchuriki. I've had some villages hand theirs over without question. You are most intriguing."

"I would die for Naruto."

"Very soon, you will very soon." With that, he took off, darting through the streets.

"_After him!_" Tsunade bellowed behind her as the ANBU flew after her.

It had been nearly twenty years since the last time she moved like this, but it was as if only a day had passed since then.

She flew through her village like a fresh jounin, legs pumping and pushing her faster and faster. She blew past ninja in the streets, sending a headband or two flying off someone's head.

It reminded her of Jiraiya.

"_C'mon, hime. I'll race ya' to the Hokage's mansion!"_

And they would speed off towards the big red building, leaving Orochimaru to his calming walk at his own pace.

"_You cheated, flat-chest!"_

"_Did not, frog-face! You're just slow!"_

She'd stick her tongue out at him and he'd puff his cheeks and pout.

It would always be a beautiful race, the two vaulting over merchant's carts and dodging the old women sweeping their porches, avoiding the cats that darted across the street without warning.

Now all she saw was death.

Dead men lying over a heap of people that was once his family.

Dead shinobi still griping their kunai.

Children shaking the dead bodies, screaming for them to wake up.

It was more fuel for the fire and it sent her forward at a speed she hadn't gone at in years.

"I _will_ kill you." She promised as a tear flew from her eye and went speeding from her face like a bullet.

The Hokage took a sharp left and went up, rising from the smoldering rubble and leaping up on to a roof with the bright sun firing into her eyes. Breathing hard, she looked up to find a black dot in the sky shaped like a man, hovering with his hands held high in a sacrificial manner.

"Pein."

* * *

Being summoned was exactly his favorite thing in the world; it always left him a little nauseous afterwards.

But once the smoke cleared and he felt the moist head of Gamakichi under his feet, everything kind of centered itself. The sun was unbearably bright as some of its rays fell over the Great Stone faces, casting shadows on the barren ground before him.

Barren and desolate; with piles of debris and rubble littering the wasteland.

"What the hell," Naruto was barely able to speak; his voice was hoarse like he hadn't had a drink in days.

"Ma! Why didn't ya' summon us to Konoha?" Fukasaku croaked as his wife hopped on Gamakichi's head, face solemn.

"This is Konoha."

Naruto's face creased into lines of rage as he looked over his home.

There was a mass of dirt wafting in the air before his party of summons, clearing until a shadow was visible.

"So you have come. That makes my job easier." Yahiko said as he stepped through the cloud, the five others behind him as a breeze blew the rest of the dirt away.

"You!" Naruto roared, meeting eyes with Yahiko. The blonde went to step down, when a figure appeared before his toads. A tattered green coat billowed behind the figure, a red circle with the kanji for 'bet' emblazoned on the back between the shoulders. Two long, silky blonde pigtails flew from the sudden motion, strands dirty and some spotted with blood.

"Baa-chan,"

"_You will go no further! The Hokage will end you here!"_ Tsunade roared, determination caking her fatigued words. An ANBU raced to get to her side, half of his porcelain mask cracked and a wound seeping blood from his back.

"Your determination is noble, Hokage. But you are in the way." One of the Pein's shot forward, his emotionless face void as he cocked a fist back and aimed it for the chakra exhausted Hokage.

Naruto came down on him, a Rasengan blasting the robotic man to pieces. The teen smacked away any flying pieces that came near Tsunade, skipping a step back to be by her side.

His cerulean eyes looked her over, noting the missing blue diamond on her forehead.

Naruto fell to his knees and put both hands on her shoulders, looking right in to her eyes with a sadness he couldn't hold back.

"You don't have to keep putting yourself between me and danger, baa-chan." A single tear slid down his face as his grip on Tsunade tightened. In that moment is when she saw the two people he took after most, their faces in the shadows of his own.

Minato was looking at her, with those same mesmerizing blue eyes, full of worry and concern.

Jiraiya was looking at her, his hands gripping her just as Naruto's were, strong and calming.

Tsunade let a weary smile slip from her lips.

'_You clear the path for them first, making sure nothing is there that they can't handle.'_

"I'll keep doing it until I can't do it anymore." She felt her heart skip at the look on Naruto's face, something akin to happiness and frustration.

"Fine, but it's my turn. You go take it easy." He slipped his arms under her knees and put a firm hand on her back, lifting her up off the ground and in to the waiting arms of Gamakichi.

"You keep her safe for me."

"Roger." He leapt away; making sure the Hokage was secure in his hands before he made any big jumps.

'_When do you think I'll be getting grandkids, Tsunade?'_

The tinkling of her mother's laugh rang through her head and made her smile as the breeze rolled over her sweaty face.

Before he was completely out of sight, Tsunade looked back at Naruto once more, admiring how strong he was being, how much he had inherited the will of his predecessors.

Her sight started fading and it was getting dark, and she barely felt Gamakichi land. Tsunade, before slipping into unconsciousness, thought back to her mother.

'_You've had one for a while, old lady.'_

* * *

**Didn't she sound like George Bush for a second?**

**"I don't negotiate with terrorists." Just add a southern accent and there you have it! :)**

**PEACE :P**


	19. When You open your Eyes

**AN: **

**So I understand it's been like...a year, since the last update, maybe even longer. I don't know what came over me; maybe a kind of depression or just lack of luster for this piece. It breaks my heart because I know how many people liked this story and I always felt a little bad when my wonderful readers sent me notes saying, "When's the next update?" or "How much longer?"**

**And it's been a struggle writing this chapter, trudging through it like nasty homework, so it finally hit me: I can't keep forcing myself to write something when there's no feeling behind the words. So when I finished this chapter, I felt a kind of relief and a sense of completion (that's me, you all might not get the same sensation).**

**This will be the last chapter, as much as it hurts me to say, I have to let this one go. When I first joined this site, I swore I'd never leave a story unfinished, and so this last chapter kind of wraps it up for me personally. You guys, faithful readers and everyone else, I cherished the comments and readings and favorites more than you will ever know. I've grown as a writer and a thinker and there's nothing I could ever do that would replace the awesome time I had writing this when it still made me smile with every word I wrote.**

**Now, enough of my sad dribble! Please enjoy the last chapter of this beast, please don't be mad at me for being away so long and then leaving you like this, I don't like it either. But I promise, when I get my streak back, you guys will be the first to know.**

**Thank you all so much and please read what's left of me. :)**

* * *

From the moment I closed my eyes I felt a nauseating sinking sensation that tugged at me from behind my naval and made my head swim. There was a blanketed black sky above me that seemed to soak into everything around me until nothing but inky black surrounded me. For what seemed like eternity I lay in a puddle of something warm, the liquid with the viscosity of blood cradled me on the surface, motionless.

My body was contorted in a line, my back arched and stiff as a board with my head thrown back until my eyebrows were touching the wet pool around me. Eons of simply floating in the black waters passed in seconds as I suddenly became aware, so quickly in fact it was painful. My eyes snapped open and a raspy moan issued from my lips, until it grew louder into a quiet scream. Heat flushed through my face and spread like wild through the rest of my limbs. The tips of my fingers burned as life flew back in them. I could feel the age in my knees start to melt as the fire coursed through my veins. It only took a few moments until I could clench my right hand into a weak fist, testing my fingers carefully on the surface of the black pond. The sensation of thick, sticky juice came to my mind as the connections between body and mind refreshed themselves and put two and two together. I could feel the liquid cling to my fingers, and as I raised my hand a little bit out of the liquid, it stuck to my skin and I felt it dry on like clay.

Anatomy class zoomed back into my head like a flash of lightning as my breath caught in my throat, and I stopped moving to freeze in place. I knew what I was floating in, it was on the tip of my tongue as I started to regain my senses, and the pinch of scent came back. Heavy iron filled my nostrils and a horrible memory filled me. I felt my heart flutter madly as realization set in.

I was lying in blood.

The sting of panic clogged my chest, and like sap the horrible feeling weighed me down. This was blood all around me, clinging to my body like a curtain. Forgetting myself, I screamed like a terrified child and tried flailing my limbs to try and get out of this seemingly endless pool. But they were not yet as recovered as my useless fingers. I kept screaming and tears spilled from my eyes, streaking down my cheeks like lines of lava.

"No, no, no," my teeth chattered as I spoke and a fear so primal and dangerous overcame my head and I began to shiver uncontrollably in the pool. But there wasn't a trace of a ripple in the calm.

"It's horrifying, isn't it?"

Ice trickled through my veins as the voice registered somewhere before me and for the life of me I tried looking up, but my neck was locked in a terrifying position to where the only thing I could see was the black of the area above me. It was no sky, but a canvas painted black.

Suddenly, in a conversational voice reserved for close friends, the voice sounded once again out of nowhere.

"You still can't move can you? Don't blame you," it sounded feminine, but not by much as I still struggled desperately to look at the source. "Even with the pathos of information you have about the human body, you're still a mere mortal trying to defy the universe."

She made no sound; I – even with my battle-heightened senses – couldn't hear her approach. But as suddenly as she sounded, she was on top of me, red eyes glaring at me as she splashed down over me. Her feet were outside of my submerged hips on the pool, and she wore a horribly disgusted face as she stared down at my pathetic form.

But her face was my own.

It was I who stood towering over the prone figure in the water, only this woman in front of me exuded a dreadful aura of odium and abhorrence. Her eyes weren't the bright honey pools I was known for, but a drastic red I imagined the blood around me appeared. Everything else, on the contrary, was exactly how I appeared on a daily basis.

"You look pathetic."

The heat began to flicker back through my limbs and I was able to wiggle my toes and move my feet. Feeling returned to my knees and I felt a twitch wake up the muscles and bones around my pelvis. Heat bellowed in the pit of my stomach and growled like a fierce tiger about to pounce.

She snorted sanctimoniously and rolled her eyes as she squatted above me, her face even closer now. "Look at me you weak little worm."

Looking into her eyes was like staring at the sun, but my anger and curiosity were getting the better of me. Pathetic? I am _not _pathetic.

"I am not a worm," to my distaste, my voice cracked every other syllable and the edge I was trying to put in my words failed. "Don't-,"

"Does it look like I care?" she interrupted me and rolled her eyes again as she took a firm hold of my chin and shook my head. "Wassa' matter cutie? Someone mad?" she cackled happily and let go of my chin when all I did was sneer. Her cackle grew into a satisfied laugh that made the pool quiver around us.

Frustrated and annoyed, I tested my body once more and felt more than a half of it respond its functionality. "Who are you?" my eyes zeroed in on the diamond on her forehead, concurrent with mine.

She gave me an astounded, almost offended look and the grin was gone in a flash.

"You're kidding right?" she waited a moment for maybe something like an explanation, and when it didn't come she scrunched up her nose in repulsion. Quickly, she fondled a lock of her blonde hair and twirled it around in her fingers. "I'm you idiot. Same hair," she made a point of the lock in her hand. "Same face, same seal," she pointed a finger at her forehead where the seal brand our skin. "Same everything, but there's one thing you and I are torn between."

She dropped the hair and brought her hand to my face, clapping my cheek hard. Her hand was cold, like that of a corpse and I couldn't feel a pulse surge through her. Very abruptly her other hand came around and clapped my other cheek, her thumb resting next to the corner of my eye.

"These," both her thumbs tapped at the corners of my eyes and forced me to look back into her burning pools of red. "Have long closed to the darkness we used to live in, and have since turned to the retched _light_ that idiot melodically preaches about."

Resentment flashed across her face and her grip around mine strengthened in effect.

"It makes me sick to think you actually enjoy it out there, with all those babbling buffoons and their talks of missions and peace, I feel as if I could retch at it all."

"What are you talking about-!"

The sting of her hand swept across my face and my head followed in the same direction. Her slap was fierce and as quickly as it happened the pain still lingered on much longer as the taste of blood trickled in my mouth.

"_Shut up!"_ she screamed, body moving in livid motions as her hands left my face and gripped me by my shirt and coat in one swift swipe. "It's all that stupid kid's fault! Dragging you away with promises of something better and…and – _hope!"_ Viciously and quickly she hurled me upwards and out of the blood (which left me completely dry for the strangest of reasons) and held me by my clothes, eyes boring holes in my skull.

My mind raced through memories of children, thinking of what she could be talking about.

"That little runt you should have let croak. Everyone would have been better off. The village wouldn't be in ruins and you'd still be in one piece, content here with me."

"No."

For a moment her face washed blank at my answer until a scintilla of what was her anger returned, but more masked this time by faux humor.

"Oh?" she started, loosening her grip on my clothes and leaning back on her heels. "Is that right?"

We held each other's eyes for a long time as my body fully recalibrated back to its battle-ready state. She cocked her head like a curious puppy; eyes still locked with mine, and started walking.

She moved in a tight circle around me, like a lion stalking prey.

"You never answered my question," I said, turning my head to watch her go round. I heard her scoff and felt the familiar sensation of her rolling her eyes bolt through me again.

"I'd have thought you, _Lady Hokage, _would've figured it out by now," with a deep hiss as she uttered my title, she tore her eyes away from mine and stopped moving. "I used to be you."

She took in her surroundings like a proud mother staring up at a child's achievements, eyes open and careful as she rounded her head all throughout the concentric darkness.

"It wasn't as dark so many years back, no, no. It was just the same as what you saw on a daily basis. I could see trees and the sky, sometimes sun if you ever managed to get your lazy ass out of the house.

"I was able to hear what you heard, understand the things you were doing and do them myself. I fought with you, healed with you, experienced death with you. I'm the you that fuels that bitter fire, I am your hate!"

In a blur she was back in my face, nose mere centimeters from mine. There was an electric heat coming off her skin that zapped at my face like static. It was like standing under two kunai being scraped together and being showered in the sparks. It burned my eyes but I didn't dare blink.

"I was always there to get you angry, to help you win those battles you thought impossible. I made you a horror to fight, death walking. I made you a legend! And what happens to me?

"_I get left in here!"_

Her whole body heaved with a pungent rebellion and rage as her eyes almost nearly burned mine out of their sockets. She was angry to say the least; something fragmented in the pit of my belly kept stabbing me, making me want to speak.

"What did you say?"

"I asked you why."

"Why what?"

"Why did you get stuck in here?"

Her face washed blank again, but there was no mistaking the building rage behind her eyes. She fell silent and look almost thoughtful, but soon her hands began clenching in and out of fists and I knew it was a sign of sheer agitation; I did it myself.

"Because of that boy, that stupid, brainless, disrespectful brat who prances around on his high horse day and night. His head is the size of his ass and he thinks he can do anything he wants!"

"Naruto?"

"_Yes! I hate that boy more than anything in this world! I would gladly kiss Orochimaru's ass before I ever admit a single ounce of affection for the mindless airhead!"_

She was ready to blow. The vein in her temple was throbbing and her hands were now tight white balls ready to lash out at anything remotely accessible. But then, like a wave had washed over her, her face contorted from fury to anguish and she closed her eyes so tears wouldn't get out. And with a tone so full of depravity and aching, she cried out at the top of her lungs.

"_He took you away from me!"_

A sob.

"Ever since Nawaki died it's been you and me: me to get you ready to fight, me to help you through the nights. My anger made you survive, because people who don't get angry die! If you hadn't been angry you would have laid on that couch and starved to death if the thought that his killer might be your next opponent didn't cross your mind just once. You know where that thought came from? _Me!"_

Just hearing his name again gave my heart a horrible jump after nearly thirty-five years later.

"You wouldn't have changed the world had you not been furious with what was going on. If it weren't for me, you would never have been disgusted with the amount of soldiers dying every day; you would never have revolutionized medicine into what it is today. You would have stayed a lethargic piece of cow shit and shriveled away like all the rest.

"Now I look at you and my worst fears have come true. You sit in that chair all day, mindlessly doing paperwork and assigning babies to missions. And what does that accomplish?"

"Factors like that-!"

"_Nothing! It accomplishes nothing!"_

Her fury growing to epic proportions, she finally lashed out and hit me square in the jaw, jarring me off my feet.

"All because that boy preached _honor_ into you. He dragged you back to that place and made you leader. For what? Because he reminded you of Dan and Nawaki?"

"Yes he did! He made me realize that I have greater responsibilities than not getting into bar fights and wasting all my money! He opened my eyes and made me realize that I'm still worth something!"

With a strength I hadn't felt since fighting Pein, I stood up straight and got in her face. Barely and inch apart, it felt as if the tables had turned. She now stood a little on the frightened side where as I stood tall, strong, and ready.

"You never saw the light in him, he made everyone around him happy. It was something I hadn't felt in years, and he brought it back!

"I don't care what you say, you miserable lonely witch, I love that boy like my own son and I am not going to stand here and listen to you tell me otherwise. I don't care who you are or what you did, but I'm going to make you realize you've made a big mistake. You can lie here for the rest of our lives and sit in this miserable excuse for an existence, wilting away because you've become worthless to me. I never needed you; Naruto let me know that.

"He made me realize it was in me all along, he brought back that ferocity I used to have without hating anything. And you know what? I actually feel sorry for you, because you've never known anything like that and keep living in this anti-social, misanthropic hell."

Without laying a hand on her, I effectively stunned her into silence, and I knew I had won. The suddenly, almost as if birds were flying up ahead, I heard a sound echo in the black. It was a steady beat, like a low drum keeping beat to battle. It got louder and more defined until it became intimately familiar.

A heartbeat broke through the thick layers of oily black and formed cracks in the sky. With each beat the cracks grew bigger and more light flooded in. Like a vampire, the woman before me began to wither and become transparent once met by the rays. Her face held a look of defeat and sadness, but beyond that, deeper than the superficial, I swear I saw something akin to acceptance. She didn't say another word as she finally disappeared in the powdery light leaving me to myself.

The heartbeat continued, still strong and loud. It grew to envelope me like strong arms and moved me somewhere new and soft. But it was an uncomfortable shift, almost like being dropped flat on your back and having the wind knocked out of you. My head ached to the point of bursting and a weight on my chest made it hard to breathe. My eyes though, saw bleary outlines of figures and shapes; the powdery white light still clouded my vision. And then I heard it:

"Baa-chan?"

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**I love you all, thank you so much for being the readers that helped me grow.**


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